There are few things in life better than the connection you have with your best friend. They’re the person you can turn to when times get tough, and who you know you'll have the most fun with during the good times. So, when your bestie starts dating someone new, it can feel like a pretty big deal. And when they get serious with them, knowing how to bond with your best friend’s partner so you can all hang out is not only achievable, but healthy for the future of your friendship.
"It's always important to make connections with people's significant others, as this person could become someone's long-term partner," Stef Safran, matchmaker and founder of Stef And The City, tells Elite Daily. This is especially true if you've reached the stage where you and your friends are potentially making lifelong matches and transitioning into a new phase of life. "To bond with your friend's significant other offers you the chance when you are coupled up to also do double dates and allow the friendship to grow if your significant others also connect," Safran adds.
If this sounds familiar and you want to get closer to your best friend's new partner, here’s what the experts advise — and what they say to avoid — to help you form a real friendship.
How To Bond With Your Bestie’s Partner.
To start building a friendship and bond with your best friend's partner, life coach Nina Rubin says a proactive approach is best. “If you truly want to get to know your friend’s SO, invite them out and don’t wait for an invitation. Be open-minded and excited for your friend,” Rubin tells Elite Daily. Her advice is to start with some group activities that will give you the chance to get to know your friend’s SO better. “All three of you can take a hike or take a picnic to get to know each other better. A casual outing can be fun rather than something so stiff. It’s also great to do group activities with you and a few friends plus the partners."
Once you’ve laid the groundwork for a friendship, Safran suggests spending some one-on-one time with them to know each other better. The key is to pick light and easy activities, like brunch. “Who doesn't enjoy brunch? It's a more relaxing time to sit together on a Saturday or Sunday to get to know someone,” she says. Or if you're more active people, a physical activity like hiking or hitting a rock climbing gym can be a casual bonding experience. “If you are both fitness people, doing a physical activity together can have you let your guard down and get to know the person better."
How To Avoid The Common Pitfalls.
Despite your best intentions, forging a friendship with your best friend's partner can be a little tricky, so there are a handful of pitfalls the experts say you should try to avoid. For instance, Rubin cautions to steer clear of telling any stories that would paint your best friend in a bad light, or that would betray their trust. “Do not embarrass your friend by yelling stories that make them look like a dolt. Build up your friend and share their strengths!” she says.
According to Safran, your best course of action is to keep the topics and the vibes light when interacting with your best friend's partner. “Don't try and interview them about their intentions with your friend or […] get into major political conversations or other hot topics that might cause conflict,” she explains. And of course, steer clear of crossing any boundaries that would be inappropriate, Safran adds. “Don't get drunk or spend time alone with them because it's not appropriate. Consider this relationship the way you would a working relationship: You don't want to get too personal in certain areas because it's not appropriate,” she says.
Approach any interactions with your friend’s partner with the intention of supporting your friendship with your bestie. Because, as Safran explains, this will help you maintain your friendship for life, even as you both go through different stages. “It's important to support your friend, whether they're single or coupled up. Even if you are currently single, don't avoid connecting with your friend if you see the relationship is getting serious. People find their significant others and get married at different times in their life, so whether or not you are in the same place, you still need to remember that if this person is important to your friend, you need to support them,” she concludes. Becoming buds is a great way to do just that.
Nina Rubin, life coach
Stef Safran, matchmaker and founder of Stef And The City