Why You Shouldn’t Feel Ashamed Of Being Single
I'm a well-rounded 25-year-old guy, and I've never been a relationship.
But don't worry! The absence of a boyfriend in my life doesn't make me hate myself, or make me fear that I'll shrivel up from the inside out and die alone surrounded by hairless cats.
In fact, it enforces the exact opposite.
I used to be that person who whined and asked “why me?!” when it came to the single life. I questioned why I just wasn't good enough, and doubted I'd ever find what my friends managed to have with their SOs.
I'm not in a state of delusion. I'm not fearful of commitment or just so bad at dating that no one can tolerate my mere presence.
I'm not so bad at dating that no one can tolerate my mere presence... I'm just single.
And I'm not completely against relationships either. If some kinda cute, kinda funny guy strolls along and manages to sweep me off my size 8.5 feet, then by all means, whisk me away and let me change my Facebook status.
But that's not all I want in life.
As it turns out, I already have everything I needed to be happy.
Here's why you should never feel ashamed of being single, coming from a guy who's never been anything but:
You have ample time dedicated to just you.
I used to hate strolling around alone. I would pass a couple on the street and well up, as if I'd just watched a goddamn ASPCA commercial. Now, “me time” is the best time of all.
Instead of allowing my thoughts to overtake everything I do, I make the most of the single lifestyle. I'm not aiming to please anyone else but myself (yes, that sounds like masturbation, but infer as you may).
Time alone is time to boost my confidence. I can get involved in a new fitness routine or learn a new language. I can sit down and actually savor a good book. I can go for a trip alone and escape for a while without answering to anyone.
Your choices are endless when you're not tied down.
If I want to find the right guy down the road, I want to be secure with myself first before I dedicate my time to them. Sorry 'bout it.
I'm not following a treasure map the find 'The One.'
All that love can (and should) go toward your friends and family.
Most of the time in a relationship is time divided between your SO, your SO's friends and your friends. That means there's little opportunity to care for the people just in your life.
Being single can allow you to develop a much deeper connection with your immediate circles and other people in your life who you may have lost touch with. You can schedule post-work happy hours or casual Sunday drunches where you can talk for hours and feel like you haven't missed out on anything at all.
These people will make you realize why you enjoy being single so much.
My close-knit circle matters more to me than anything in this world. And I'm happy I'm able to dedicate time out of my hectic schedule to them.
You can be sexually adventurous.
The more obvious point to be made about being single is the fact that you can get FREAKY.
Now is the time to try new things and live out that dirty desire you've always fantasized about. No one should judge you for putting yourself out there or “being a slut.” You're SINGLE.
Try things that may be limited if you're exclusive with just one person. Have a threesome! Flirt, fuck and have fun. Just go in, get off and get out.
I had my first one recently, and the rumors are true: They're pretty spectacular.
The world is literally your oyster.
Mmm, oysters. Slurp it up.
These years of being single have taught me to push myself far outside my comfort zone and basically just grow up as a human. I don't see how a relationship could've done a better job of teaching me how to adult.
I don't see how a relationship could've done a better job of teaching me how to adult.
I'm becoming more experienced in the art of dating and soaking up the beginning of my mid-20s with no real game plan. Instead of following a treasure map to "The One," I'm putting myself out there and meeting a new person every chance I get.
This is the time to get your hands on everything.
And remember that you answer to no one. Interested in raging face till dawn on a Tuesday? Do it up (and don't be late for work). Stuck in bed all weekend with sweats, Seamless and a full body pillow? Sounds like a great time to me. Just remember to shower, please.
I'm not going to be single forever, though — that Liam Hemsworth-lookalike is out there somewhere. But for right now, he's going to have to wait for ME.
I'm enjoying this "me" time way too much.