The Mistakes I've Been Making In My Dating Life That I Plan To Change In 2017

by Sean Abrams
Dimitrije Tanaskovic

Boy, did 2016 fuck me. It fucked me good.

It's no secret to my friends, family and the general public (since becoming a sex and dating writer) that I'm in hot pursuit of someone.

I phrase it like that, without necessarily using the hard term “relationship,” because in this day and age, that term can be so loosely used.

Sex and hookups are generally hard to define, and canoodling multiple times is possible without ever using a definitive label. But how many encounters, whether over dinner or in bed, does one have before deciding this is it? They're the one, they're all you need and that's good enough for you?

Throughout the course of 2016, I went on more dates than I could possibly keep track of. I consider myself to be pretty savvy when it comes to dating apps, using whatever necessary tactics to land that perfect match.

But clearly, I'm doing something wrong.

The year is kind of mushed together, with all of my enjoyable dinner dates and one-time sex friends blurring into one.

The amount of new contacts I have, split between multiple social media platforms, is admittedly disgusting. I think there may have been one, maybe two guys towards whom I openly felt something more.

Sometimes, I even yearned to make something out of nothing, but with no genuine spark, those usually fell flat before they had a chance to lift off.

Dating is hard, if you couldn't tell.

That's why I've decided to sit myself down and get my head on straight when it comes to my approach in 2017.

First things first, I need to broaden my horizons.

I've found all my potential suitors on an iPhone screen. Odds are they're white, tall (which is pretty easy when you're next to me), scruffy with dark features, and, based off my track record, a dick.

I've definitely grown out of my anxious, worrisome shell over the past year. I would never expect myself to walk up to a random guy in a bar and churn casual conversation out of thin air — but that was then.

I want to meet someone in such an obscure fashion that it knocks me right off my Chelsea boots. The element of surprise would not only keep me on my toes for once, but it would add a sense of mystery and suspense when it comes to my dating life in 2017. I don't want to follow with the same old routine anymore.

Whoever you may be, I expect you to wow me!

I've been way too close-minded.

Speaking of that guy, he could literally be anyone. Up until this point, my taste has been relatively vanilla. I went for the same stereotypical bro who was keen on showing off his masculine side. Every guy I dated looked like everyone else I've crossed paths with.

Not enough hair on your head? I swiped left. A quirky, sort of funny, sort of weird profile bio? No way. Not clean cut and white bread? Odds are I didn't even give you a chance.

Clearly, that hasn't worked out very well.

I understand that it's OK to have tastes and preferences, but I think I've been way too close-minded.

I've been limiting myself this entire time, and for what reason? I'm not even really sure.

I'm over sitting at a bar and regurgitating my life story.

I'm a firm believer in not wasting any time when it comes to dating, and if we match in some way shape or form, I want to meet up and do something worth my time.

Grabbing a drink is great, but I'm game for just about anything out of the ordinary.

I don't want to take charge.

I'm accustomed to being super forward and taking initiative to get what I want. I need to start hangin' back and not coming off so eager. There have been so many times that things have floundered, and my friends have told me it's because I'm inclined to give my dates what they want, and I leave nothing to offer by the end.

That's got to change. I have to change.

Dating has played a large role in my life throughout 2016, and I expect it to be even more prominent once 2017 rears its ugly head.

If I keep up with my word, and how I decide to approach it though, is still a complete mystery.

Wish me luck.