How To Tell If You're In Love With 'The One'

by Candice Jalili

You already know you're in love. There's no doubt about it. This isn't just butterflies. You absolutely, totally, wholeheartedly love this person.

But... is this it? I mean, how do you know when you're in love with the one? Is this guy just another chapter in your book or is he the happy ending?

You see, I don't believe we all necessarily have one person. There are different people who come into your life at different times, and each of them could've been your "one" at that moment.

But then, there's that final one. The one you end up with. Your happily ever after.

How do you know when you've fallen in love with that one? Here are some tips to help you figure it out:

He makes you feel safe and afraid all at once.

On one hand, you feel the safest you've ever felt. You are free to be totally and completely yourself with this person, and you know he absolutely loves you for it.

But, on the other hand, being in love is scary.

So, yeah, of course part of you is absolutely terrified. It's almost too good to be true.

And there's a little voice in the back of your mind that wonders when this fairy tale romance is going to stop being so fairy tale and start being more heartbreaking drama.

That all being said, the sense of safety and comfort somehow always overrides the fear. Because, above all else, you trust this person.

You've made it through tough times together.

Why do you trust this person? Because you've been through some real shit together, and guess what? You survived.

While the rough patches found a way to ruin your relationships in the past, every rough patch that comes your way now seems to just make your love for each other stronger and stronger.

There really isn't a hurdle so large you can see it getting in the way of your love.

The sparks are there, but so is the timing.

Sparks are great, but they're not enough on their own. You could find your total, absolute SOULMATE — the person who knows you better than anyone else and makes you feel like your best self — but the timing could just be completely off.

The two of you could have other things going on that get in the way of giving each other the love you deserve.

Similarly, timing is great, but timing alone is not enough. You could meet a person just when you're ready to meet someone new and what do ya know? They could be looking for someone, too! But if there's no spark there, all you did was settle for the person who came along when you were ready.

So sparks and timing, on their own, are not enough.

But the two of them together? Magic.

Falling in love with the one happens when the two of you have that magic combination of fireworks-level sparks and impeccable timing.

When you think about your future, he's there without a doubt.

It's possible to be in love with someone you don't realistically see a future with. (That happens when you've only got the sparks.)

So yeah, you love every moment with him, and he literally owns your heart, but your mind knows better. When you flash forward to 10 years from now, as badly as your heart wishes he was going to be there, your mind knows he won't be.

But when you're in love with the one, your mind and your heart are on the same page: This guy is in it for the long haul.

You want the same things.

Why do you see a future with him so easily? Well, because the two of you have the same vision for the future.

You guys have the spark, you have the timing and, possibly most importantly, you're on the same page about what you want in life. You value the same things. What matters to you matters to him, and vice versa.

Life's got a lot of twists and turns, so you've gotta be damn sure the two of you want to wind up in the same spot in the end of it all.

He doesn't complete you — he complements you.

I hate the idea of finding someone who "completes" you.

To me, that sounds creepy and unhealthy.

That being said, we've all had that feeling of being "completed by" someone at one point or another. That feeling of almost being addicted to another person and not feeling totally whole without them by your side.

Let me be clear: That person is not the final one.

The one you end up with isn't going to complete you, he's going to complement you. Rather than two halves of a whole, the two of you are two whole human beings who make each other better.

You believe in each other.

You've been in love with people who loved you "as you were" before.

But the person you end up with isn't going to love you just as you are.

Of course, he is going to love you for your wonderful self, but he's also going to see your potential and push you to be the best you you can possibly be. When you stop believing in your own dreams, you can count on him to push you to keep going.

And the same goes for you. You believe in him wholly. You love him for the amazing human being he is, but you also see how great he's going to be, and you're going to push him toward becoming that person.