The conventional wisdom about breakups is that you should always end a relationship face to face, especially if you've been dating for a while (so long as it’s safe for you to do so). Sometimes, however, when a relationship has gone on too long, or you've tried and tried to end things but you just can’t quite seem to fully extricate yourself from this person, then a text message can be your best friend. The problem is you’re not quite sure how to say goodbye to someone you love in a text. It takes skill to draft the perfect texts to send your ex that convey everything you’re feeling in a clear, concise, and caring way.
The final text to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend can also vary depending on your situation. If you were the one to end things, you’ll want to be direct about how it’s time to walk away. However, if you were the one broken up with and your ex is still reaching out, it’s time to cut the cord. You’re only prolonging the pain. Relationship coach and Break Up Bestie founder Kendra Allen spoke with Elite Daily and said that “regardless of what side of the break up you were on, you either owe yourself space or owe the other person space,” and by texting your ex, “you’re not investing your energy into moving forward.” The goal is to move on, so it’s time to send the last message for your ex.
Breakup coach and host of the Breakup BOOST podcast Trina Leckie warns that a text is a last resort, because it “can cause the person you are breaking up with a lot of pain and also leave them with unanswered questions.” If you feel like texting is the only way you know how to say goodbye to your ex, then Leckie says your message should be “direct and to the point, making it clear that you do not want to continue the relationship because the two of you are not a good match.” If you need help drafting the final text to your ex, these 20 messages may help you, depending on your current situation.
Texts To Send If It Was A Mutual Breakup
- I’m glad we both agree that this relationship isn’t going where we want it to. I wish you all the happiness in the world with someone else, but it’s time for us to say goodbye for good.
- Hey [Ex’s Name]. I’m really glad we’re both on the same page and we agree this is the end. I wish you well. Goodbye.
- Hi [Ex’s Name]. Since we both agree that this relationship isn’t right for either of us, I’m sure you’ll agree that this should be the end of us texting. I wish you all the best.
- Hey. So, ultimately, we weren’t a fit and we both saw that. I think we can also see that any further communication would be bad, so I just wanted to say, I wish you well one last time.
- Hi. I’m glad we’re in agreement that this relationship just wasn’t what we wanted. I think it’s best if we go no contact from now on to really move forward. I’m sure you’ll agree.
Texts To Send If You Broke Up With Them
- I know we both tried hard to make our relationship work, but I thought I made it clear that I just don’t see a future. I think it’s best if we both move on now.
- Hi [Ex’s Name]. I know it’s hard saying goodbye, but I think it’s time we went no contact. I wish you the best.
- Hey [Ex’s Name], I have to be honest with you, because you deserve that. I’m ready to move on, so I think it’s best if we stop texting. Goodbye.
- I’m sure this isn’t the best way to say this, but I felt like my message wasn’t clear enough before. I really think we should end things here. I just don’t see a connection and I think it’s best we move on. I really wish you well.
- Hey [Ex’s Name]. Thanks again for hearing me out. I just don’t think we’re a good match, and the sooner we move on, the sooner we can both heal. I hope you understand that this is officially goodbye.
Texts To Send If They Broke Up With You
- I’m really trying to move on and I feel like you need to give me the space to do that. I hope you understand that I won’t be responding anymore.
- Hey [Ex’s Name], let’s not drag this out anymore. I think it’s time we went no contact. I hope you understand where I’m coming from.
- Hi. I’m getting some mixed signals. I understand you don’t see a spark between us, and I need time to process. This is goodbye.
- Hey. In order for me to accept that this relationship is over, I need you to stop reaching out. I know you mean well, but I just need my space to move on. I wish you well.
- I’m sorry, but you’ve got to let me heal. I know you’re just checking in because you care, but it’s better for me if we just say goodbye. I really wish you the best.
Texts To Send If You Think Friendship Is Possible Some Day
- So this is really hard to say, but we need to take some time apart. You are amazing, and I genuinely hope we can be friends someday in the future.
- While I believe that we should take some time apart right now, I really hope one day we’re on the same level as Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novak — a.k.a. exes turned friends.
- Hey [Ex’s Name]. There may not have been a spark between us in our relationship, but I believe if we give it some time, we could be good friends. We just need the space right now.
- Hey. I really did enjoy our time together, which is why I think we’re better suited as friends than romantic partners. I think if we give it some time with no contact, we can continue our relationship as friends.
- [Ex’s Name], I have to be honest with you because I care about you. Since our vibe is more platonic, I think we need to end things here. Hopefully, with some time, we can come back together as friends when we’ve both healed.
The next part after calling it quits may actually be the hardest: sticking with your breakup convictions. Block them, unfollow them, or mute them on social media if you need to. In these moments of weakness, stay strong. Everyone has those passing doubts, but remind yourself that you wouldn't have reached this point in the first place if they really were the one for you. Stick to your guns now, and you'll be amazed how quickly you heal and are ready for love with someone new.
Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the Breakup BOOST podcast
Kendra Allen, relationship coach and Break Up Bestie founder
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.
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