Single Life
A woman decides how to let a guy down easy over text.

Here Are 15 Ways To Let Someone Down Easy If You Aren't Feeling Sparks

Honesty really is the best policy.

Originally Published: 
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Tell me if this sounds familiar: You went on a bad date, and that’s a bummer. Even worse, your date apparently didn't get the memo, and they are pressing you for round two. You definitely aren't feeling it, so it's time to send the dreaded rejection text. Yes, coming up with texts to send after a date to let them down easy can be really hard. You may even be thinking: I could just ghost them. True, you could... but remember how crappy that feels when it happens to you? By knowing how to let someone down easy, you can resist that urge to ghost and be the change you want to see in the world.

There’s something about rejection that really inspires writer’s block, but it is possible to write something that — while it might sting at first for the recipient — will actually let the person down fairly easily. As dating coach and founder of A Little Nudge, Erika Ettin, previously told Elite Daily, “The two keys are tact and honesty when letting someone down.” Be direct; don’t beat around the bush and draw it out in some messy, easy-to-misinterpret essay. Ettin also added, “While someone might be disappointed that you don't want to go out again, he or she can't really be angry at you for feeling, or not feeling, how you do.”

When it comes to knowing how to let a guy down easy, you also want to be kind. Just because you aren't interested doesn’t mean you're free to step on their feelings. Treat them how you would want to be treated, and always lead with a compliment. If you happen to go on a date with a really cool girl with whom you’d rather just be friends, a nice rejection leaves the door open for that possibility. Of course, it’s easier said than done. If you’re still stuck, feel free to use one of these “how to let someone down easy” text ideas, depending on what best fits your bad date scenario.

Rejection Texts For When You Want To Stay Friends

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  • Thanks, I had a blast on our date, but I just want to let you know I got more of a friend vibe.
  • Last night was great, but I feel like we might actually work better as friends. Any chance you’d be into that?
  • You’re really awesome and definitely deserve someone great. I just don’t think I’m that person, but I’d be down to hang as friends.
  • Hey! I'm really sorry, but I have to follow my gut and I just don’t think this is going to work out. I did have a great time and would love to be friends if you’re ever into that.
  • So, while that was probably one of the most fun dates, I didn’t feel a spark at all. Maybe we’re better as friends?

Rejection Texts For When You Want To Get Right To The Point

  • Hey, I had a great time and you are a wonderful person, but I didn’t feel a spark between us. I know you’ll find someone amazing. Good luck.
  • Hi, thank you for asking, but I have to say no. You’re a catch — but unfortunately, just not my catch.
  • Thank you so much for the offer. Because I respect you, I’m gonna be totally straightforward. I had a really great time, but I don’t see this going anywhere.
  • You’re great and I had a lot of fun, but I have to be honest. I am looking for something serious and I don’t see this heading in that direction.
  • Hey, I don’t want to waste your time, so I’ll just say I don’t think this is going to work out. I am really grateful to have gotten to know you, though. Good luck!

Rejection Texts For When You Have Zero Interest

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  • Thanks for a really great time. You are really cool, but I just want to be honest. I am not looking for something serious right now, which is what you seem to be looking for. I just don’t think I’m in a place to date at the moment. It was really nice to meet you, though.
  • Hey, thanks again. It was fun, but I didn’t feel that spark between us. Good luck out there!
  • Hey, I got to say no. Best of luck with your future endeavors.
  • Thanks again! Unfortunately, I didn't feel the connection I was looking for, but I wish you nothing but the best.
  • Hey! I just wanted to thank you again, but I also want to be honest with you. We have very different interests, and I just didn’t feel a connection. I hope things work out for you.

See, not so hard after all, right? Yes, your date probably won’t be thrilled to get your text at first, but a moment of disappointment is better than an unspecified amount of time left wondering. Plus, it’s just good anti-ghosting karma for you!


Erika Ettin, dating coach and founder of A Little Nudge

Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.

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