This Guy Gave Up On Women And Pursued A Relationship With A Sex Doll

by Zara Barrie

Well, sweet kittens, if you're feeling like maybe you've hit rock bottom in the love department, think again. I'm about to make your damn day.

After three harrowing divorces, our dear friend Murray has decided to say "F THAT" to real people and instead, invest his love into plastic, life-sized DOLLS.

I mean, I like dolls, too (so pretty and such long lashes and you can dress them however the hell you want). But I've never been tempted to have SEX with one.

But hey, I'm not judging. A lot of people are homophobic and don't understand how I like to sleep with my own gender, so I'm not about to throw shade at some broken-hearted dude from Queensland, Australia, who wants to have sex with a plastic doll. To each their own, so long as you're not hurting anyone, right?

Murray says he experiences levels of "ecstasy" with Noni (the name of his beloved doll). He also has put in the blood, the sweat and the tears when it comes to mastering the art of doll sex, telling ABC:

It took me over a year to learn how to make love to dolls. Once I got over that massive learning curve they can take you into realms you didn't know existed. "One day she'll be into BDSM. Then next it'll be, 'hold me close and cuddle."

Yes, it's sad that as a society, we're so sorely disconnected that we project our loneliness into strange things like doll sex and what does it ALL MEAN BLAH BLAH BLAH?

Whatever. I'm sure he'll grow out of it. And if he doesn't? At least he never has to worry about sudden death, heartbreak, cheating, fighting, lying and disappointing orgasms, right?

I know, I think it's dark, too, but I think we need to live and let live, right? RIGHT? SHOULD I DO THE SAME THING? So many unexpected feelings. I don't know what to do or how to feel anymore, darling.

Citations: Man divorced three times gives up on human women, finds love with sex doll named Noni (Metro)