If you've been trying to shed some pounds, and you're sick of expensive diet plans, apparently, the best alternative tactic is good, old-fashioned cheating.
Yes, you heard me right. And yes, I'm as confused as you are.
Health and body hypnotherapist Steve Miller, known for his unconventional expertise when it comes to losing weight, is now pitching the idea that sex with a skinny person is your best chance at slimming down, according to MailOnline
Miller proposes that it's people's "dead relationships" that are causing them to eat too much and be overweight. And he is confident that an affair with someone on the thinner side will get you right out of that long-running food coma.
The cheating will not only lead to a drop in weight, but apparently, it will also help to revive your self-esteem and have you feeling confident — and healthy — once again. (Yeah, OK.)
A lot of the reason we get fat is because we are in relationships with those we shouldn't be. We turn to food to fill the void. Partners can also become feeders because they are controlling bullies living in fear we may leave them for someone else.
Miller also believes obese people are most likely in relationships with "feeders," partners who coax their significant others into eating that second, third or fourth cheeseburger, so they'll continue packing on the pounds.
This is all a ploy, according to Miller, because the "feeder" is actually so insecure, they want their partner to get heavier and ultimately rely on them more than they do already.
"The dreary partner you are with is a killer in disguise because feeding yourself to create comfort will probably trigger cancer, stroke and heart disease," Miller said. "Don't feel guilty for having an affair, go create excitement with a new lover and see yourself depending less on food for comfort."
Miller emphasized that your new perfect person to sleep with needs to be thin. Otherwise, you'll just be with a new "feeder" who wants you to be fat forever.
Hey, my man, Steve... what the fuck are you even saying?
Can you please confirm in what world cheating is ever the top choice in any situation?
How about you recommend some low-carb, high-protein dinner options instead? Or maybe some fun, at-home workouts?
I'm not sure where you got your degree, but going out of your way to have sex with someone else and hurt your partner doesn't seem like an optimal way to drop a pant size. Some quality time on the treadmill does, though.
Think a little a little bit on that one, and then, get back to me.