In today's dating world, there are plenty of obstacles people come across.
Do you give up on meeting some organically and get on a dating app? Which dating app is the best? Do I have time for a relationship or do I just want to have sex? If I do get into a relationship, how do I even know this person is going to be faithful?
While cheating has been an issue, you know, forever, it's suddenly becoming more mainstream and less taboo — an idea that literally baffles me.
We have taken cheating and turned it into a meme-worthy situation. Think about it: How many memes about cheating have you seen on Twitter or Facebook recently? The number's probably pretty high.
We hear songs talk about side chicks, and we read article after article talking about how someone cheated, why someone cheated and how someone has cheated on every partner.
Personally, I find the entire idea of cheating just totally reprehensible — it's not OK.
Put simply: If you don't want to be with a person anymore, don't be with that person. Don't go out of your way to hurt someone because you aren't fully in your relationship and want to “explore other options.”
If you don't want to be with a person anymore, don't be with that person.
But unfortunately, just knowing how often people cheat and knowing it can happen at any moment can drive us a little crazy in our relationships — and possibly even damage them before cheating even happens.
Here are a few types of behaviors that cheating culture has created in relationships today:
Social media stalking
When people are insecure or they aren't particularly trusting right away, it's easy to stalk them on social media to make sure they're where they say they are, when they say they are.
People will look for so many clues to make sure that they aren't missing something or being lied to. They'll see who is liking their partner's posts and pictures, and they'll lurk in the comments as well.
While it's totally normal to figure out who someone is before you go on a first date, constantly obsessing over their social media presence once you're in the relationship can lead you down a bad path lacking any sort of trust.
This behavior truly baffles me. Sure, I know my boyfriend's phone password, and he knows mine, but it's not because we don't trust each other. It's simply because we have nothing to hide.
However, I never demanded to know his password and vice versa.
Going through your partner's phone trying to find something incriminating has become a sort of normalized behavior. We assume it's OK because they shouldn't have anything to hide.
However, it eliminates any sort of privacy and crosses a line. No one has the “right” to go through my phone, and just as it's not my “right” to go through anyone else's. Plain and simple.
Playing 20 questions
When you're worried your partner might be cheating, you start telling them what they can and cannot do.
No, they can't go out with their friends, at least not without you tagging along. You ask who will be where they're going and what they're going to do.
When there's a lack of trust about your significant other's whereabouts, you're simply asking for disaster. And cheating culture has made us automatically assume they're doing something wrong because they want a night out with their friends.
This sort of environment isn't healthy.
Cheating culture has created behaviors in relationships that are not healthy or helpful in any way to a relationship. In fact, they're pretty destructive.
For a relationship to flourish, there needs to be a strong level of trust and the knowledge that cheating is not and will not be an option.
If cheating starts to cross your mind or your partner has already cheated, it's likely not the right relationship.
So end the relationship before it gets to that point. It'll be more beneficial for you AND your partner in the future.