Why He Doesn't Like You Back And How You Can Handle It
Unfortunately, things don’t always go how you want them to. You might be into some guy, but for some reason, he’s just not into you. You’ll first give him little hints about how you feel (avoiding telling him bluntly) and expect him to do the same, but even with this effort, it seems that this guy is either not getting it, or he isn’t into you.
Usually, the best option would be to get over him and move on, since he’s obviously not able to see the beauty of what’s in front of his face. Why should you care if he’s missing out on such a wonderful opportunity, aka you?
Sometimes things are just easier said than done. You’d feel a lot better if you knew exactly why he wasn’t falling for you in return. It’s true that all guys are different, but if he just isn’t into you, it’s likely going to come down to one of the following 18 reasons:
1. You’re trying too hard to have him
In your attempts to seduce this one particular man, you might come of as very needy. This is a major turn off for men, especially if they believe they can have you at any given time. Men love the chase, so it’s best to let them do the chasing. Give him little hints, but never go for him all the way, as that will push him away.
2. He knows he can have you
This is a huge turn-off for guys. A man knows he “has” you when two things happen: 1) You’re available all the time; 2) You let him KNOW that you want him badly. I don’t know what it is with most men, but when they know they can have you, they lose interest.
You can resolve this by giving him the constant impression that you are seeing someone else and you’ve always got a full schedule. I know this may be hard to do because all you want is to spend as much time with him as possible, but RESIST your desires in order for things to progress smoothly.
3. You’re not his kind of girl
Many times women get offended when a guy just doesn’t like her. It doesn’t matter what it is; you may just not be the right girl for him. Don’t let this get to you and certainly DO NOT CHANGE for any guy. Move on until the right one comes by.
To help you get through this, think of all the guys you dated and just didn’t like for whatever reason. It’s exactly the same vice versa.
4. He only sees you as a friend
In your presence, does this guy talk about other girls he likes? Does he give you details about his conquests? When this happens, it’s obvious that you two are just friends. He may have put you in the friend zone, but it’s also possible that you declined his initial advancements and allowed for the relationship to evolve like this, only to later discover that you actually like him.
5. He’s into someone else
You can’t expect to instantly notice if he’s a quality guy, and sometimes you notice it too late. Know that he may already be infatuated with someone else, or he might even be in a committed relationship. If this is the case, give it time, as things might change in your favor. Ideally, though, you should move on.
6. He’s not sexually into you
If you’ve been friends for a long time, it’s quite possible that the image of you naked doesn’t come across his curiosity. If you see him getting excited about other women, but not you, it may mean that he’s not sexually attracted to you. You can put this to the test by dressing up and showing some skin. If he reacts, it’s good, but if he doesn’t, it means that he looks at you as a friend and can’t picture anything happening.
7. He thinks you’re not compatible
Think about yourself here: Are there some things you desperately need to have in any potential mate? We’ll men think in the same way. It may be that for whatever reason, you just aren’t ticking those boxes, so if you want to know more about this particular issue, try to ask about what he’s looking for in a woman. Is he describing you? If not, then you’ve got your answer.
8. He’s gay
As funny as this may seem, it actually happens a lot. The world is full of closeted gays that get girlfriends (and even marry) to fit in. Don’t feel offended by this because it’s not in any way your fault. As the saying goes, “All the good ones are gay.”
9. He’s got unreasonable standards
There are men on this planet who think they are so great that only supermodels are worth being their girlfriends. If this is the case, forget about this douche bag. Sooner or later, he’s going to realize the mistake he made and you’ll see him come crawling back to you. When this happens, treat him as he did you.
10. Family influence
He may like you, but his family or close friends might not approve. If this is the case, forget about this guy, as he’s not a real man anyway.
11. Religious and spiritual views
Even in this day and age there are people who stand true to their religious views. This may not be his central reason (as people can convert), but topped off with other reasons, it will stop him from dating you.
12. He’s not ready for a relationship
Many women don’t understand this, but some of us men have a way of knowing almost instantly if a girl is relationship material. The moment we identify her as that, we have to decide: Do we want to have a relationship right now? Or do we want to keep on having fun? If a relationship is not for your particular guy, then don’t worry about him and go find one that is.
13. He has no idea that you like him
Remember those subtle hints we discussed earlier? Well, he might not be getting them. You can make things easier for him if you move from subtle hints to actual words that express your feelings. Don’t tell him that you’re in love with him, but be flirty and tell him that you like this and that about him.
14. You’re freaking him out
If you’re with him day-in and day-out, holding on to his arm, breathing his air and genuinely suffocating him with your affection, then you might actually be freaking the guy out. Personally, this is my type of woman – it might come down to some sort of mommy issues – but not all guys are like me so try to control yourself and appear less infatuated if you want him to notice you.
15. There’s an age difference
You might think that this guy is great, but if you’re only 18 and he’s 28, chances are he’s not going to be interested. Regardless of what you think you know about life, sex and relationships, to him, you’re a kid. Usually guys that date much younger girls (18 to 21) are guys that can’t date girls their own age. That should tell you a lot…
If it’s the other way around, often times, guys ask themselves the question, why is she still single at 35? Something must be wrong there…and that often turns them off.
16. He needs time
This one is very common with “great catches.” Usually guys that understand what a relationship implies, how to treat a woman, etc., are also the guys that run companies and have demanding jobs. Let’s call them smarter…guys.
A guy like this has some very clear priorities. Unfortunately, in most cases, relationships and love come second to his new company, career and other “more important” things in his life. If you’ve got a guy like this, you can either trick him into a relationship (which will be a very imbalanced relationship, at least until his company/career gets to where it should be, which could take forever), or leave him on the spot and go search for a guy that has time to properly cherish you.
Many of these guys are and will be married to their careers their whole lives. They may seem great from the outside, but once you get to the inside, you’ll see that many of the things that make a relationship great are probably missing from your life.
17. He thinks hot girls aren’t good girlfriends
This is actually a very common misconception amongst “weak” males. Because they rarely have the chance to be in the presence of a gorgeous woman, they automatically assume beautiful women are not worth it. This usually comes down to the fact that he hasn’t had much success with a woman like you, and as a result, he feels a sort of hate towards you. Forget about this loser and get yourself a real man!
18. He’s scared to ask you out
Again, in my personal opinion, if a guy can’t prove his role as a man, then he isn’t a man. Thus, if a guy can’t ask you out because he’s scared, to unsure about himself, or whatever the reason, then he’s not a good man for you.
However, if your feelings for him are so strong that you simply must have this man, despite him having weak characteristics, then do the proper “WOMANLY” thing and ask him out yourself. Do know that if you had to be the one that asked him out, your relationship will pretty much be the same the future, aka in you’re the one making all the moves.
In conclusion, the above are very common reasons why any particular guy might not be into you, or might give you the impression that he isn’t into you. Ideally, if your potential guy is doing any of these, the best thing you can do is forget about him since there’s plenty of other guys out there that are ready to give you want you want!
This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your love life’s success, visit TheSingleWomanGuide.com – a place where the conventional “dating mindset” is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting, attracting and keeping a quality man in your life.