Nom Nom: 11 Times Food Absolutely Tastes Better Than Skinny Feels
We've all heard Kate Moss' expression, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." While that quote may stave the hunger of some during the afternoon, it really doesn't have any effect when you're blacked out at 4 in the morning and the pizza place on the corner is calling your name.
I can safely bet that Kate Moss has never eaten at Shake Shack or Jimmy John's.
But luckily for us, the newest revelation is that the best diet is no diet, aka intuitive eating. So, goodbye juice cleanse and hello chips and guacamole!
While I am all for a healthy diet, there are just those days when all you want to do is inhale an ice cream sundae. So today, in honor of our cravings and indulgences, here are all the items that most definitely taste better than skinny feels:
1. A breakfast sandwich when you're hungover
Is there anything better than ingesting greasy, heavy food after a night of binge drinking? You can't even begin to feel normal the next morning until you get your hands on a big ass breakfast sandwich.
Thank God for Seamless delivery because there is absolutely no chance in hell you are leaving the warmth and comfort of your bed.
2. Ten tequila shots on the eve of your job promotion
How can you celebrate without drinking? Is it even possible? And, honestly, what better way is there to celebrate than with rounds on rounds of tequila shots.
My man Jose Cuervo and I go way back and there is no one else I'd rather have by my side on the eve of a celebration than him.
3. Pizza when you're wasted at 3 in the morning
Is there anything better than the sweet smell and taste of a hot and cheesy pizza when you are on the verge of blacking out? Please tell me if there is because I'd love to know.
There is nothing more comforting and alarming than waking up next to an empty box of pizza, spooning you in bed. Hey, it happens to the best of us... doesn't it?
4. Cake on your birthday
...Actually anything on your birthday because the calories don't f*cking count! Give it up for the moral victory on this one, people, because today is the one day of the year that is essentially a get-out-of-diet-free card.
You can be as gluttonous as you want on this glorious day because it is YOUR day, which means you can eat whatever it is that you desire.
5. Free lunch from your office
You can't say no to free food, that's just like slapping God in the face. Everyone knows how expensive buying lunch during the day can be, so it's really some sort of blessing when the company you slave away for rewards you with free meals.
6. A home-cooked meal when you haven't been home in forever
Nothing tastes better than food that's prepared for you. You don't have to make any effort whatsoever except to bring the fork from your plate to your mouth.
That actually sounds like some kind of exercise, doesn't it? You are moving your arms after all...
7. Wings during the Superbowl
What else are you supposed to do as a female during the Superbowl besides eat? Actually watch the game? You mean the commercials, right...?
All I care about is what is on the plate in front of me because the last thing I actually care about is anything happening on the television.
8. Everything you can get your hands during a tailgate
Burgers, chips, dip, wings, you name it -- if it's at a tailgate, you sure as hell will be eating it. How else are you expected to combat the drunkeness you will be exhibiting for the next four hours?
Isn't the entire point of a tailgate to eat and drink excessively? No? Hmm...
9. A nice alcoholic beverage after a long day at work
Ah, unwinding after a long day with a cold, alcoholic beverage is just what the doctor ordered. How else are you expected to relieve the stress from the day?
Exercising and meditating will only get you so far. There is just something that an alcoholic drink does that nothing else can.
10. A carb overload after returning from vacation
Most people hit the gym and diet real hard before they depart for a vacation. It's pretty daunting when you know you are going to be wearing a bikini for days on days, so it only makes sense that you gave up your favorite indulgences before you left for your trip.
But there really is nothing like that first bagel or slice of pizza you dive into upon returning from your vacation destination.
11. Anything and everything while you're high
I could eat cardboard when I'm stoned and think I'm actually eating a grilled cheese sandwich. Once you're high, everything becomes an edible option.
Your stomach becomes a bottomless pit from the second you take that first hit. Half the fun of smoking is indulging in the munchies that are sure to follow. Isn't that why blazing before meals has become tradition?
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It