Whoever invented the beanie is a godsend because, without it, my entire office would know I haven't washed my hair in... well, let's not get into that.
But as I look down the table, I'd say that half of the girls here are currently wearing beanies.
Why? Probably for many different reasons since the heat is on full blast, and there's no real need for one inside the office.
Who knew people wore these head accessories for reasons other than keeping warm? The entire female population, that's who.
So, what do these other reasons look like?
1. To avoid washing your hair
This is perhaps the number one reason girls invest in beanies in the first place. Is there anything worse than having to deal with your hair after a long and hard strenuous day? (No.)
This also comes in handy when your gym schedule doesn't align with your hair-washing schedule, which every female knows is a constant struggle.
2. Your hairstylist f*cked up your highlights
Is there anything worse than a botched hair job? Thank God for hats at a time like this! You can pretend they're an accessory to the outside world, but only you know this is really coming out of necessity.
3. To hold in your ear phones
Apple should just include a beanie with their headphones since those things never seem to stay put in your ears. Ever tried running with those in?
It's impossible to make it through one song without having to adjust your ear buds.
4. You just didn't feel like doing your hair this morning
Does anyone ever actually feel like doing her hair? I guess this is a rhetorical question because the answer is so obviously a "no."
Well, the best thing about a beanie is that it covers the top half of your head so you can get away with only straightening the bottom half!
No one will ever know what's tucked underneath that cap.
5. You overslept
Everyone has those days where they're running late to work -- which is exactly when your beanie comes into play. You can grab it on your way when you're rushing out the door.
No one in the office will ever even know whether you actually did your hair or not.
6. To look shady yet stylish on your walk of shame
The last thing you want to see when you're taking a walk of shame stride of pride home the morning after is someone you know. This is why you desperately need to wear a beanie on a night out.
Hopefully, this headgear detracts from the fact that you are still rocking last night's outfit.
7. To look good while rocking aviator shades
Peanut butter and jelly... beanies and sunglasses... they're a match made in department-store heaven.
8. To appear sullen so no one speaks to you
Ah, does anything say, "F*ck off!" quite like a beanie? You aren't really sure why, but whenever anyone is wearing one, it looks as if the last thing they want in life is to be disturbed.
9. To pull off that trendy-hipster look
Since Free People is way beyond your budget, you just have to settle for the next best thing to get that hipster look across.
10. Because it dropped to subzero temperatures overnight and now you're now forced to walk to work
Okay, maybe sometimes we actually wear beanies because of the weather...
11. To look like you're not trying
It's the no-try try. You may know how hard you're really trying, but a beanie makes it look effortless.
12. To go to Brooklyn
When in Rome... or Brooklyn, in this case.
13. To piss your parents off at dinner
"No hats at the dinner table!"
You are now at the age where your parents really can't tell you what to do when it comes to your appearance, so if wearing a beanie to dinner is what you want to do, so be it.
14. Because you haven't seen a hairbrush in more than four days
As soon as you put the hat on, no one knows you haven't brushed your hair in days.
15. You just got bangs
Is there anything that complements a beanie better than bangs and aviators? They either help you cover up your bad bangs or enhance your great bangs — either way, a beanie is a great investment.
16. Because beanies are all that fit me right now
They can be as comfortable and comforting as your favorite pair of baggy sweatpants.