Forget 'Summer Bodies,' Now You're Supposed To Have A 'Winter Waistline'

In the past few years, everybody sort of collectively realized that "bikini body" was a messed-up phrase -- Women's Health even surprised everyone by taking the majorly body-positive move of banning the phrase from the magazine all together. After all, as many have pointed out, your bikini body is whatever body you damn well feel like putting a bikini on.

Howeeeever, I've noticed that lately the term "summer body" seems to have quietly stepped into the (thigh?) gap left behind by that once-ubiquitous term. In fact, a quick Google Keywords search shows that searches for "summer body" have tripled in the last three months, compared to the three months prior.

It's sneaky and kind of gross, since it essentially means the same thing -- that you need to have a specific kind of body in order to be worthy of showing it. Again, my summer body is whatever body I happen to be walking around in come summer.

But to make this all next-level awful, I just got a PR email that upped the ante as far as unattainable and ever-evolving standards for women's bodies goes. You see, the latest thigh gap/summer body/bikini bridge messed-up body trend of today is THE WINTER WAISTLINE.

See below:

Later on, the email let me know that I can talk to the good doctor Redacted about "getting [my] best waistline before winter comes to an end." Anyway, add "winter waistline" to the list of things you're supposed to want in order to have an acceptable human body and weep.

Seriously, though, PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BECOME A THING. PLEASE. My almost-spring brain can't handle any more of these dumb seasonal expectations.