My fashionista mother nearly always dressed me in style. But, sometimes, when you have two other kids, fashion disasters happen.
One day during second grade, she forced me to wear a pink and purple neon puffer coat.
I was a walking target, just biding time until some playground punk claimed my puffer coat made me look fat.
I went home that day and told my mom it was time for the puffer coat to go. I had become the laughingstock of school because I looked like a bowling ball.
After an argument and tears, she explained I was lucky to have the jacket and shouldn't care what other people say about me.
I knew her advice was valid. I also knew I wasn't getting a new coat.
Forced into the puffer coat lifestyle, I became accustomed to the look and realized puffer coats are actually the shit.
1. They're warm AF.
2. Including the thin ones that look like a rip-off.
3. Not all of them make you look like a marshmallow.
4. But, I'm kind of into that look.
5. There's a puffer coat for every personality.
6. The long style is the best.
7. Your ass will never feel the breeze again.
8. Nothing looks more stylish than walking around in a human sleeping bag.
9. At least you can sleep anywhere.
10. No one can tell if you're not wearing a bra.
11. Or a shirt.
13. All your friends have one.
14. If they say they don't, they're lying.
15. If you have one with fur around the collar, you're bougie.
16. We all had a ghetto phase.
17. You can hide anything inside of your puffer coat.
18. Like a purse.
19. Or, a turkey leg.
20. You can wear your boyfriend's puffer coat and still look good.
21. Even with your pink Uggs on.
22. Respect the comfort lifestyle.
23. It can turn into a blanket or a pillow at any given moment.
24. You are a human bumper.
25. Shove your way through a crowd and feel nothing.
26. No one will mess with you.
27. Wearing a puffer jacket makes you look 10 times more intimidating than wearing a peacoat.
28. You're basically Puff Daddy.
29. Or Missy.