I hate being ditched by anyone.
These days, being blown off by douchey guys is the norm. When my best friend cancels plans to hang out with a new guy, however, I want to wring her neck.
New relationships usually call for spending a lot of quality time together.
That means doing nothing but sucking face, holding hands and watching "Making A Murderer" for the 10th time.
Still, there comes a time when I expect she'll clock back into our happy, "Broad City" bestie-ship.
Though you might not be able to outright tell her to STFU while she ruins brunch with more boyfriend banter, we know you're thinking it.
1. What happened to just the two of us?
You're my soulmate!
2. You did tell him I'm your person, right?
I'm not going anywhere.
3. When did you start liking hockey?
He's changing you!
4. Yes, I already know how cute he is.
Thanks to all your #ManCrushMonday and #RelationshipGoals posts.
5. No, I don't want to know the name of all his family members.
Or his f*cking childhood pets.
6. Does this mean no more girls' nights?
Seriously, your Victoria's Secret onesie misses you.
7. No, he cannot come to our weekly nail appointment.
What the f*ck?
8. Do you two follow each other to the bathroom, too?
Insert rolling eyes emoji here.
9. Welp, there goes our girls' trip to Rio!
All you're going to do is FaceTime with him in the hotel, anyway.
10. No, I won't help you pick out his birthday gift.
11. Do you miss having your own life?
12. Really? You two have a secret handshake now?
Wow. Just throw away our 15-year bond, why don't ya?
13. So, now who's going to be my Valentine?
Or help me send messages to these dudes on Bumble?
14. Does your mom even like him?
I can't be the only one who hates how "Swimfan" you are right now.
15. No, I actually do not care that he loves Adele too.
She's our fav, remember?
16. Aren't you sick of him by now?
It's been like six months of this obsession.
17. Girl, is he really the one?
Or will we be introducing another guy to the squad by spring?
18. Don't cry to me when you two break up.
I might have my own boyfriend by then.
19. Just please stop talking about him.