"I hate everybody," I exclaimed to no one in particular. Oh, it must be another day in the life of an impatient person. A day during which every single thing, whether rational or not, is pissing you, along with myself, the F off.
Sure, you should be tolerant of everyone, but there are just certain instances when you would just rather not. Actually, the majority of the time you really would just rather not... which is why you are a firm believer in hate at first sight.
So what scenarios, situations and people reaffirm this belief? Well, it looks a little something like this...
1. Bitchy resting face tells you all you need to know
Sure, some people's faces may just have that look, but honestly, there is usually good reason behind it.
If people are actually very happy or enthused to meet or speak to you, their faces would show it.
2. You do actually judge a book by its cover
It doesn't matter how many times you can tell yourself or be told it's what's on the inside that matters — you can't seem to look past the exterior.
I mean, isn't that what first impressions are all about? Hmm, that doesn't sound right...
At this point in your life, you most likely have all the friends you need, which is why you feel no need to meet anyone else.
You could be introduced to the nicest person in the world, and you still wouldn't give a sh*t.
4. You don't need to watch any more Snapchat stories
No one actually watches your 60+ second stories, we just click through them to get them off our notifications. PSA: STOP DOING IT!!!!
5. You can't deal with another obligatory Instagram like
I throw enough pity likes around, I don't need another damn sunrise or puppy bombarding my newsfeed. Get that basic BS out of here.
6. Because this girl is wearing an outfit you could never pull off in a million years
Well, I'm glad you look like you just stepped off the pages of a Free People catalog, while I stand here in my all black attire.
It must be nice having such a versatile style, but it only means one thing: I HATE YOU.
7. You've already heard all you needed to about her from your best friend
Sure, it may not be fair whatsoever, but you've already made up your mind about this person.
She could be the sweetest person in the world, but you've got your bestie blinders on, so you won't like her anyway.
8. You've stalked her Instagram and already dislike her
Why is she flawless? Irrelevant because she is not going to be my friend. Bye Felicia.
9. This person clearly brings nothing to the table
As you get older, you realize how precious your time is, which is why you refuse to waste it on people who bring nothing beneficial into your life.
10. It's someone your friend really doesn't like
Just plaster that fake smile on and hopefully this person will get the hint and move the F on. I'm not sure why she would want to speak to you in the first place...
11. She thinks her sh*t doesn't stink
...But you came out of the bathroom after her, and that is someone you do not want to be affiliated with. The less you know, the better -- and, right now, you know way too much about her.
12. It's just one more call you will have to ignore on a Friday
You barely even answer the phone when your friends call you to make plans because you'd rather stay in bed watching Netflix. Why would you want to waste your time on someone you don't even know if you like. Ain't nobody got time for that.
13. Because she is wearing aggressive day heels
Girl, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. There is absolutely no reason to be rocking 4-inch stilettos while the sun is out and shining.
14. Two words: lip liner
Whoever invented this needs a harsh dose of reality. No one, I repeat, no one looks good in lip liner. Unless maybe you are a prostitute... and, even then, it's questionable.
15. You can spot fake people a mile away
High-pitched voice? Overly complimentary? Trying way too hard to be your friend? This only means one thing: Trust no bitch.
Photo Courtesy: Paramount Pictures/Clueless