Bitchy resting face, or BRF, is a condition that affects tons of women worldwide. This affliction is not immediately contracted, rather it is developed over the course of our lives.
We come into contact with stupid people, frustrating situations and annoying circumstances... and thus, our faces have morphed into one stern, hard expression. An expression that for the life of us we cannot erase.
Confused? Well, thank you Urban Dictionary for giving us this solid and concrete clarification:
Many people believe you are a cold-hearted bitch when, in reality, you are actually a warm and welcoming person -- too bad your face doesn't give off that impression.
For some reason, people feel the need to point out when their friends have bitchy resting face. Trust me, we already know.
So what are the types of predicaments you find yourself in when you suffer from BRF? Here you go:
1. You end up standing alone at the bar
You are dressed to the 9's tonight and yet no one has even approached you. I mean, you even showered for this sh*t, what is going on?
Oh, come on now, you know exactly what's going on: your BRF repels anyone and everyone who glances in your direction.
2. If you have a boyfriend, chances are he thinks you're pissed off at him 99 percent of the time
How many times can you reiterate that there is nothing wrong? Apparently, the limit does not exist because he never, ever believes you.
3. Salespeople and waiters think you have a horrible attitude
I said please and thank you, and you are still giving off bad vibes? What is the deal, madam? This is just my face.
Close your eyes and listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth and see what a difference that makes.
4. Actually, everyone thinks you have a terrible attitude
Tell me something I don't know! Seriously, I've never heard this one before.
Children are scared of you, adults are scared of you and even your friends start to tremble when you're around.
Just kidding, your friends actually think it's hilarious how much sh*t you get for your BRF.
5. You find yourself apologizing for... your face
Just remember: Smiling gives you wrinkles, bitchy resting face keeps you pretty.
6. First impressions never end well
You know the phrase, "You have to know them to love them"? Well, that was created to defend people suffering from BRF.
Upon first encountering this type of individual, you may be thrown off by her less-than-enthusiastic demeanor, but don't worry, as you get to know her, you shall appreciate her for who she really is under that BRF.
7. Anyone who doesn't know you calls you judgmental
The look of boredom on your face is just making the people around you think you're judging them. Which, let's be honest, you probably are...
8. People ask you what's wrong at least 19 times per day
Nothing is wrong, but isn't it fun to keep people guessing? I'm actually having a great time and am feeling wonderful, but thank you so much for the consistent concern.
9. Wednesday Addams is your spirit animal
There is only one role model for a chick with BRF: Wednesday Addams.
She is the OG of the bitchy resting face. Thank you Addams family for giving us someone so amazing to look up to.
10. Every girl who doesn't know you basically hates you
Was "No new friends" also inspired by BRF? Your face essentially just makes you unapproachable, causing you to have similar problems with people of your gender as well as the opposite.
11. Even the nail technician can't stand to look at you
You are, literally, the reason the nail ladies speak in a different language to each other.
12. The barista at Starbucks is terrified of getting your order wrong
Your natural death stare of a face is enough to drive the barista into sheer and utter panic.
She makes sure to announce your order as she writes it out in clear sentences on the cup -- no abbreviations -- in order to be as clear as possible.
13. No one has the balls to sit next to you on public transportation
This is probably the most beneficial aspect of having a bitchy resting face: your personal space will never be infiltrated.
Unfortunately, airplanes have assigned seats or you'd really be in the money.
14. You are seated faster at restaurants
Why? Because the maître d' doesn't want to deal with you, your face or your party any longer than she needs to.
15. You never got a babysitting job growing up
All of your friends were babysitters in high school except for you. You tried and tried to interview with families, but that BRF of yours just never got a callback.
Don't worry, it was for the best since babysitting has to be the worst job ever.
16. You were voted worst person to bring home to meet the parents for your high school superlatives
You may be pretty, but based on appearances alone, you are not the type to bring home to mama.
17. You'll never spend one dollar on Botox
Who needs Botox when your face automatically looks as if it's had three injections?
Photo Courtesy: CW/Gossip Girl