Women never have enough hours in a day to look like supermodels.
Because of time constraints, my resourcefulness really knows no bounds. And let's be real, even supreme beauty goddesses use mortal hacks to look their best selves.
Overcoming last-minute beauty faux pas is a masterful skill taught to us by YouTube stars and several walks of shame pride.
Come on. Don't act like you haven't resorted to shady beauty business to get through the day looking and smelling your best (perfume showers, we're looking at you).
After all, we're just lovely messes who sometimes forget to shave our armpits before slipping into sleeveless dresses.
Thankfully, our CVS purchases can come in handy for way more than what's explicitly recommended on labels. That MAC Cyber lipstick and Too Faced black mascara buried at the bottom of our bags can save us from looking like an extra from "The Walking Dead."
MAC Cyber Lipstick, $17, Nordstrom
So if you're a little ill-prepared for a compromising situation, just do what you gotta do. Freshen up with these 12 odd things we've all been guilty of practicing at least once.
1. Take a hoe bath.
No matter how rough the previous night, there's never a good excuse for smelling like Chicken of the Sea. Find the nearest bathroom sink and splash some soap and water on your body's rank spots.
No loo? Grab a bottle of Dasani and rinse well.
Do this when: you're less than Summer's Eve fresh.
2. Wear your panties inside out.
Taking a shower is the first commandment of cleanliness, but sometimes you forget to pack an extra pair of underwear. Flip your undies to keep yesterday's "secrets" away from your crotch until you can get a fresh pair.
Do this when: you crash at your friend's apartment.
3. Use baby powder for dry shampoo.
Typically, throwing your week-old hair into a ponytail will suffice for a work day. However, if you're short on dry shampoo, try sprinkling baby powder on your hair to soak up week-old oils.
Do this when: you'd rather party than spend Friday night washing your dirty 'do.
4. Use lipstick for blush.
Sometimes life calls attention to your cheekbones. In that case, swipe your fingers across your lipstick and dab the apples of your cheeks. Blend well, no one wants to look like a full-on Monet.
Do this when: you overslept, are running late and need to look alive out there.
5. Take a perfume shower.
Bathing in whatever scent your BFF has on her nightstand is practically girl code. Though Flowerbomb can't replace the fresh scent of Dove body wash, dousing your hotspots with three (or fifteen) spritzes can freshen up any odor.
Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb, $85, Sephora
Do this when: you're about to walk into the bar right after hotboxing.
6. Use someone else's razor to dry shave.
Not afraid of few of your boyfriend's pubes, are you? If not, steal bae's Gillette razor when yours isn't on hand.
Do this when: you're at a pool party and notice a thickening patch of hair near your left thigh brow.
7. Use soap for deodorant.
Caress your underarms with a bar of Irish Spring to kill off midday funk.
Irish Spring bar soap (8-pack), $11, Amazon
Do this when: the day's humidity is reaching tropical levels. And yes, you probably have swamp ass.
8. Recycle last night's eye makeup.
Use makeup remover to clean up any remnants of raccoon eyes, then retrace your eyeliner for round two of last night's beauty.
Do this when: you're too hungover to stand and can't work from home.
9. Brush your teeth with your finger.
Sometimes your post-lunch breath calls for more than a quick floss and rinse of mouthwash. For fresh-for-now breath, wrap a towel around your finger and brush with toothpaste.
Do this when: you've got a meeting right after devouring Just Salad's crunchy onions.
10. Use someone else's contacts.
Rip open a friend's spare pair of contacts when yours are nowhere to be found. It may seem like stealing, but it's better than being blind, right? Who cares if the prescription is a little off!
Do this when: you fell asleep in your contacts...for the third night in a row.
11. Use toilet paper as an emergency maxi pad.
Nothing runs smoothly during your period, especially when there's no spare tampon on hand and you've been plugged up for hours.
When all else fails, wrap toilet paper around your hand until it's thick enough to resemble a pad.
Do this when: Flo makes a surprise (heavy!) visit during happy hour.
12. Tweeze random hair with your fingers.
There's no hairier situation than suddenly spotting a stray strand growing from your chin. No private corner in sight? Pluck away with your hands.
Do this when: you're two weeks past due for a waxing appointment and your eyebrows are trying to connect more than you and your Bumble match.
13. Use chapstick as lotion.
Dab Blistex on ashy cracks between your fingers when coat weather calls for more than usual moisturizing. Let's face it, who always has hand lotion?
Blistex Medicated Lip Balm (6-pack), $9, Amazon
Do this when: jerking and slamming your lotion bottle produces little results.
