I'm not a religious person. I can probably only name around five of the original 10 Commandments, but that doesn't mean I don't think there's some logic to them. Sunday is for rest, you should never steal, you should try not to kill anyone and you can forget about sleeping with your neighbor's husband. I can get on board with all these rules.
But in the days of Facebook, Tinder and almost equal standards, I can't help but think it might be time for a few new additions. It's a tough world out there for females today. We're expected to crash through the glass ceiling and still have dinner on the table by 7 pm.
We have to love our bodies, but spend the majority of our free time at the gym. We have to wait for him to text us first, but not be afraid to make the first move.
So, to make things a little bit easier for you, here is a new set of rules for the modern-day, Gen-Y female. Obey as you wish.
1. Thou shalt respect girl code.
Whether it's not posting that drunken picture of your BFF (I know you look great), not hooking up with your friend's down-and-out ex or simply supporting your colleague's desperate new diet by not bringing cake to the office every day, we girls need to stand by each other more in 2016.
We just have to read critic Jackson Murphy's recent tweet to Amy Schumer to see that slut-shaming is still alive and well, and it's going nowhere fast. But please, let's leave that to the boys.
So, please "like" her selfies, hold back her hair when she's downed one too many tequila shots and don't date her crush, even if he does look like Channing Tatum (circa the original "Magic Mike"). If we all band together and don't treat one another like rivals, life will be easier for everyone.
2. Thou shalt put your phone away.
It's insane how much we rely on our phones these days. If we fall over and hear a crack, we pray it's our legs.
How many times have you sat around a dinner table and noticed that literally every person is staring at his or her screen? What happened to good old-fashioned conversation?
Disconnecting is a luxury we all need, so let's make 2016 the year of the digital detox. Try playing "phone stack" the next time you're out for dinner with friends: Everyone places his or her phone in the middle of the table, and whoever looks at his or her phone before the check arrives picks up the tab. It's genius.
3. Thou shalt both respect and enjoy thy body.
It's the 21st century. So, by definition, we're allowed to sleep with whomever we want and whenever we want, without the fear of judgement. But just because we can, that doesn't necessarily always make it a good idea.
Having sex on the first date is still one of the biggest debates of the Gen-Y dating era. But maybe there's a reason it's stuck around for so long.
Similarly, just because you have it, that doesn't mean you have to flaunt it to every guy who pays you an ounce of attention. But chemistry is chemistry, and we still want to get it on.
So, whether you choose to get down on the first night or hold out until you've got at least three hot dinners under your belt, just enjoy it. If he's interested, he'll call whether he's seen you naked or not.
4. Thou shalt not ghost a love interest.
This modern-day phenomena is picking up speed, and it's currently the dating buzzword du jour. It's also one of the cruelest habits we've picked up along the way.
Anyone who's been ghosted (defined as the act of having someone suddenly drop off the face of the planet without so much as a goodbye) by the person he or she is seeing knows it's a pretty lame and inconsiderate thing to do. Sure, you avoid the break-up talk and the crying, but if you sincerely think it's an acceptable dumping method, then quite frankly, you're an assh*le. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated, and don't make someone else suffer because of your immaturity.
5. Thou shalt honor thy father and mother.
I know this isn't a new one, but it's worth a revisit. I've been blessed with pretty great parents, but whether you love 'em or hate 'em, you still have 'em. No one's getting any younger here, people.
Not all people are designed to be good parents. But if you're lucky enough to have two people who love you no matter how many times you f*ck up, you should tell them. It's simple math.
6. Thou shalt have an opinion.
Gone are the days when all a girl has to do was smile, look pretty and nod along to whatever her SO says. No one likes a doormat. So, if you don't agree with something, speak up.
But be careful you don't cross the line between having a healthy debate and being that over-opinionated douche who nobody invites to drinks. If you have a closed mind, you should probably have a closed mouth.
7. Thou shalt think twice before sending nudes.
Revenge porn is continually on the rise. Need I say more?
8. Thou shalt learn how to hold thy liquor.
It's Saturday night. You're going out with your girls, and it's time to unleash your inner alcoholic.
We've all been there. But being the borderline passed out, crying-into-her-wine-glass girl is never attractive. No one wants to be responsible for having to take you home, either.
If you go out with the intention of getting f*cked up, chaos is sure to ensue. There will be morals out the window, 27 drunken text messages to your ex-boyfriend and two hours spent with your head down the toilet at work the next day. At least line your stomach first (for everyone's sake).
9. Thou shalt not drink and swipe.
Not only are you more likely to swipe left on a total hottie because you're not in the zone, but you'll also probably wake up with 20 new matches who look more like David Gest than David Beckham in the sober light of day. So, put your phone down, and leave it for a rainy day.
10. Thou shalt do whatever the f*ck thou wants.
So, here's the thing: None of this really matters. If you're happy, who cares what anyone else thinks?