We know what you’re thinking. How many types of boyfriends can a girl have?
There’s the almost boyfriend, the boyfriend that only existed in your head, the boyfriend you should marry, the worst ex-boyfriend and now: the boyfriend you currently think is great, but will actually suck as a husband. God didn’t create only one type of woman, and he certainly didn’t make just one sh*tty boyfriend.
But how is this possible? Why could someone so seemingly perfect for you be so terrible later on? That’s because this boyfriend might be great for this particular moment, but he’s not great for the rest of your life.
He’s the guy who can be there for you now, but doesn’t know what it means to be there later. He’ll show up to the performance, but he doesn’t stay after to congratulate you.
He’s fun and spontaneous, but not committed and ready. Enjoy your time now because he won’t be around forever. And deep down, in the parts of your heart that you seal off from the rest of your brain, you know this.
Some partners we have simply because they make us happy, or they help us through a particular time, and then eventually you outgrow each other and don’t need each other’s influence anymore.
It’s a mature realization that this person is desirable for this part of your life, but when you are ready to move on to the next, it’ll be without him.
Perhaps your relationship was founded on the superficial (“You’re hot.” “You’re hot.” “Let’s do it.”). Or maybe you love the way he makes you feel, but not who he is. Perhaps he is no longer fulfilling your needs.
A great boyfriend can still be a great person and have a positive effect on your life, even if he’s not the one you want to marry.
Just like you know when he’s The One, you also know when he’s not. You can daydream about him now, but you can’t envision your lives together later. Here’s why great boyfriends don’t necessarily make the greatest husbands.
1. He’s too nice
Dating a really nice guy is… nice. But you also need someone who challenges you. Super nice boyfriends let you get away with too much. They aren’t good at giving constructive criticism or tough love when the situation calls for it.
As life decisions get more difficult down the road, you’re going to need someone who can fight just as intensely as he can love.
2. He smothers you
One of the best feelings in the world is to feel wanted, and a romantic dude is hard to find these days. Having a boyfriend who showers you with love and compliments is great for any girl’s self-esteem, but he also should respect your space.
You need someone who treats you like an equal -- not an object to be praised.
3. He’s hard to live with
You love it when he comes over just to hang out with you. You love it when you spend long weekends together, acting like a little unit. These things, however, are not 100 percent indicative of a successful living situation.
Think about having your friends as roommates and how the relationship always changes. When you live together, you introduce a whole new realm of things to argue about, to get upset over, and to discover about the other person.
And when you find out that he routinely masturbates to Teletubby porn, you might reconsider putting a ring on it.
4. Your interests don’t align
Dating a man with wanderlust or a bohemian lifestyle or a rigid work schedule or a specific career path can be inspiring -- but you have to keep in mind your personal goals as well and make sure they are compatible with his.
A nomadic guy is thrilling to be with, though he’ll have trouble settling down. An ambitious businessman will make time for lavish dates, but he’ll always be on the clock.
When you’re too different and don’t have similar interests, it’ll be that much harder agreeing on decisions for the two of you.
5. He’s not marriage material
Minor things like skipping your family party or forgetting your date night plans can be overlooked when he’s your boyfriend. But when he’s your partner for life, these offenses hold more weight.
You need to assess if his shortcomings are not only forgivable, but also ones that you can live happily with for the rest of your life.
6. He’s a commitment-phobe
You like that he’s not into PDA or Facebook statuses or holding hands or pictures on social media. But eventually his lack of outward affection will make you feel more like a secret mistress than a beloved best friend.
He’s not hooking up with other people. He delivers sweet lines that make you melt. He does all the things that make you believe he’s ready to fully let you in, and yet he still can’t give you a set of keys or put your needs first.
In theory, he’s a great boyfriend; in your life, he won’t amount of anything more.
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