#SingleGirlProblems: 8 Reasons The Cycle Of 'Almost Boyfriends' Will Never Get Us Married
According to a variety of research, a woman will have anywhere from two to five broken hearts before she gets married. But there’s only one problem with this theory: She needs to have an actual boyfriend first.
As the casual flirtations of this generation’s hook-up culture prevail, fewer and fewer of us are successful at “locking down” a boyfriend.
We’re either dating multiple people at once and never getting past surface-level conversations, or we’re fooling around with one sort-of-special guy who still hasn’t seen us before 9 pm. Sometimes it feels like finding a real, viable significant other will never happen, let alone a traditional relationship.
In between actual full-time boyfriend and one-night stand, there's this limbo of almost-boyfriends in which we have all the makings of a long-term relationship, but never actually get to the next level.
We single Millennial women have become accustomed to steadily seeing good-but-not-great guys whom we merely hang onto because we’re longing for somebody next to us.
And therein lies our biggest problem: This endless cycle of almost-boyfriends will never turn into anything of substance, much less husbands.
Sure, these guys are fun, they make us feel wanted and they’re temporary placeholders for when the real thing does come.
But perhaps these boyfriend replacements are doing more harm than good, preventing us from ever moving forward in our love lives. They’re like part-time interns when what we really need are experienced professionals.
We single girls have enough troubles as it is, and now we’ve got even more male obstacles standing in our way of settling down. Here’s why the constant cycling of almost-boyfriends will never get us married.
1. They’re not ready to commit
As much as we’d like to settle down with the unavailable player-type, you can’t turn a bro into a boyfriend or a homie into a homemaker. Despite steadily seeing you once a week, he’ll never actually call himself your boyfriend or so much as hint at seriously liking you.
While the average age a man gets married keeps climbing, guys are less likely to want commit to one person, especially early on. As tried-and-true game-players, these men want to keep playing the field.
2. They don’t take you seriously
Perhaps you’re seeing an older man or maybe you’ve given off the wrong impression, but either way, this guy doesn’t see an actual future with you.
He’ll keep you around for the same reasons you’re keeping him around -- intimacy, companionship and a good-time. But both of you know, like Warner Huntington III in “Legally Blonde” did too, that you need to be with someone more “serious.”
3. They don’t have their own lives together
It’s hard for a guy to take care of someone else when he can barely take care of himself. The aspiring musician who you’re quickly falling in love with doesn’t know what direction he’s headed towards, least of all if you’ll be there with him.
With the Great Recession not too far behind us, our generation is still having trouble finding jobs and making money. Finding a lifetime partner has subsequently taken a backseat on a man’s list of priorities.
4. They don’t connect with you on a deeper level (and vice versa)
Anyone who has experienced a bonafide love will tell you: You need real chemistry in order to maintain a relationship. These almost-boyfriends aren’t opening up to you.
They’re not telling you about the time they got bullied in high school or divulging about their relationship with their parents. They might physically satisfy you, but they’ve withheld emotionally.
5. They’re man-children
See: your college beer-guzzling ex boyfriend, the rich douche with a lot of cool toys and the one who still lives at home and works the door at Finale.
Research has shown that men don’t reach full maturity until age 43, which means you’ll be waiting quite some time for this man-child almost-boyfriend to finally grow up. This guy can barely pull up his pants, let alone pull his own weight.
6. They’re too much drama
Despite not even being in a real relationship, you sure have a lot of drama between you two. His flakiness makes you over-analyze to the point of insanity, and he overall causes you too much anxiety. This isn’t the makings of a successful affair. Bottom line: If he wants it, he’ll pursue it and not drive you crazy in the process.
7. He’s there out of convenience, not love
Hooking up with your neighbor solely because he lives close by will not lead to an everlasting bond. Just because someone is offering to pay for your dinners and take you out doesn’t mean you actually have a connection.
You both are engaging in it because you share this flippant, “Why not? I’ve got nothing else going on right now” attitude, not because you can’t resist each other.
8. He only exists in your head
Step One To Securing A Relationship: Make sure the guy knows that he’s in one.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
