Christian Blogger Says Women Will Go To Hell If They Don't F*ck Their Husbands


In her blog, “Loving Life at Home,” Jennifer Flanders attempts to help fellow wives ‘find the light’ … by f*cking their husbands. According to Jezebel, her most recent post basically warns women that if they don’t agree to f*ck their husbands at their convenience, they will ruin their marriage and most likely go to hell.

Don’t worry, she wrote it as a cute little poem so it doesn’t sound too offensive! The poem is a laundry list of excuses that wives make to avoid sex when it isn’t their priority. Among those are, “my legs need shaving,” “I feel fat,” and “I’m under too much stress.”

Sounds valid to me. Flanders sums up the creepy poem with this comforting stanza:

“Excuses, Excuses, to keep your man at bay—
The devil will supply them if you can’t think what to say.
 When wives won’t give their husbands sex, then everybody loses,
 But Heaven’s floodgates open when we stop making excuses!”

Okay, so you’re telling us that we can’t “have” sex, we can only “give” it? Thank you, Mrs. Flanders, that was really motivating! Your husband must be into that one. Also, just to clear things up, when I can’t think of an excuse for why I don’t want to have sex, the devil takes over my body and makes one up for me?

Funny, I thought the devil had better things to do. I feel like he’s more badass than watching some boring married couple so he can help the woman figure out an excuse to avoid missionary that night. But hey, I could be wrong. Thank you, Mrs. Flanders, for helping women see the light one f*ck at a time!

Via: Jezebel and Loving Life at Home