Who Needs The Gym? Why Putting Up With Bullsh*t Is A Form Of Exercise

by Ashley Fern

Did you ever think that listening to people go on and on about bullsh*t could relate to exercise? Maybe you never thought about it in this way before, but hearing crap come out of people's mouths is draining and tiring.

Unfortunately, you don't burn any calories as you waste your precious time hearing out your friend complain about some guy who didn't text her back.

It's really a damn shame because we all know how amazing that would be.

Nodding "yes" while pretending to actually care what this other person is saying should absolutely be considered cardio, and if you don't agree, well, you've never heard a chick complain about a guy she is "talking" to before.

So why exactly is putting up with bullsh*t just like hitting the gym?

1. It's a marathon, not a sprint

It's never a one-off brief conversation. In fact, it's overly drawn out.

2. It forces you to discipline yourself

You can't outrightly tell the person who's complaining to you to shut up despite how much you may want too.

3. It ups your resistance

The more and more you listen to bulls*t, the more you learn to deal with it.

4. You have to carry the weight of other people

Because you don't have enough of your own problems, you are now taking on the burden of someone else's.

5. It completely drains you of your energy

As if you weren't already exhausted, you now must suffer through a friend's extensive tirade about something you probably couldn't care less about if you tried.

6. You hate it before you do it, but once it's over, you're relieved

As annoying as listening to someone bitch and complain is, afterward, you feel like a really solid friend for doing it. Just chalk it up to karma.

7. It feels like an uphill climb

Just like the time you spend killing yourself on the stairmaster, listening to bullsh*t never gets easier. In fact, it only gets harder the longer you endure it.

8. You run, and you run, and you never get anywhere

It doesn't matter how hard you try and avoid these types of conversations, somehow, they keep catching up with you.

9. You feel as if you must tell people afterward

Once someone dumps his or her problems onto you, it's only natural to want to dump them onto someone else.

10. Someone will always end up being the punching bag

When you start venting, it's only natural to start taking out your frustrations on the listening party.

It's a pretty sh*tty situation considering you didn't even want to be involved in the first place.

11. It leaves you completely sore

Every aspect of your being is sore between your mind and your body -- it really is a full-body workout.

12. You're always checking the time

IS IT OVER YET? No, you just started...

13. It makes you hungry for bad sh*t

Whenever you make it through the struggle, you know you always want to reward yourself in the worst way possible. Regardless of the fact that you may have just worked your ass off, you have no qualms thwarting your own efforts. Why? Because you deserve it.

14. You'll never fully distract yourself

As much as you try and take your mind elsewhere, you never are fully successful.

15. There will be blood, sweat and tears

If your conversation doesn't range in a variety of emotions, you didn't really have a meaningful conversation.

And honestly, if you aren't breaking a sweat during your workout, you can't really consider that a workout anyway.

16. Every interaction you have is a warm-up

Each time you deal with one person's sh*tstorm, it just prepares you for your next encounter.

17. There will always be someone better than you, and you're perfectly fine with that

In fact, you prefer it! Pressure off.

18. It's repetitive

Listening to someone rant becomes more repetitive than necessary, as we've all experienced.

Why people feel the need to repeat themselves is mind-blowing since they have forced you to listen to everything they are saying.

19. It will weigh down on you

No matter how much you try and distance yourself from the situation, the weight will always be on your shoulders. Great.

20. You don't always have someone there to spot you

It's a one-man mission.

21. If it's not burning, it's not working

If it's not really hurting you, you're not really putting up with bullsh*t.

22. It's always better when you're high

Am I right?

23. It gets your heart rate going

Nothing like fresh gossip in the early morning to get that heart rate and blood flow going.

24. You feel dirty afterward

You feel as if you just were told some top secret information and aren't really sure how to react.

25. If you don't put up with it, you get soft

Keep your head in there.

You'll eventually see the results you're hoping for, aka your friend realizes you're bored to death and inevitably keeps her banter to herself.

For more of her thoughts, humor and ridiculous opinions follow Ashley Fern on Instagram and Twitter.