Your College Years Vs. Your Late 20s On Instagram, Being A Grownup Is Real
Instagram has become the new way of documenting our lives. Instead of statuses, we're using pictures to advertise what's going on in our worlds, which will make for some hilarious "remember whens" in a few years' time.
As we grow up and as our audiences change, it only follows that the content of our photos will mature as well. Think: more babies.
For the late 20-somethings out there, it's definitely a relief that Instagram wasn't around when we were 18 (imagine how much harder it would be to find a job...).
For the current 18- to 22-year-olds, it's definitely a relief that Instagram is around to get the word out about the upcoming tailgate party (imagine how much harder it would be if there were only Facebook invites...).
What we put on display when we're 18 (cough boobs cough) versus what we advertise when we're in our late 20s (cough babies cough) is accurately reflected through Instagram. Here's your college-aged self versus your late 20s self on Instagram:
Your definition of healthy has certainly changed
This isn't college anymore, so while you'd like to eat ramen every night (it's still all you can afford), your metabolism just can't hack it. Then, your biggest accomplishment was making it through the entire microwave cycle without opening a bag of chips during the wait.
Now, your biggest accomplishment is cooking a three-course meal from Joël Robuchon's cookbook (wait, that's actually kind of hard though...). Who said food porn on Instagram was over?
Check out that view
You were in awe of your college campus, and if Instagram existed back then, you'd probably post a photo for every season. Present-day, your high-rise office view is the only thing that's keeping you from jumping out the window (and yet, it makes it so tempting at the same time). Moving on up or moving closer to your way down?
Day parties can get really out of hand
Frat parties are like cat parties... except more nipples. Remember when you couldn't even take care of a cat, let alone yourself? This frat house would be the reason why.
Studying sucks no matter how old you are
Is there really a difference between punching a time card and punching a wall? Studying may suck more when you're 18, but it fits your schedule better than at age 29.
Like Billy Madison says, "Stay in school as looooong as you can" because there are plenty of Excel spreadsheets and sexless school nights waiting for you on the other end. Yay!
Best friends really are forever
You're never too old to show appreciation for your friends -- even if it means succumbing to an Instagram collage. Pictures become dated, but best friends last forever.
Wedding pics are the new prom pics
Your date has changed, but the lineup sure hasn't. What have we learned? Regardless of how old you get, as long as they keep manufacturing fugly poofy dresses and cheesy stretch limos, there will be no shortage of regrettable formal photography.
CEO isn't just a theme party...
It's your eventual career path, so you might not want to get too comfortable without a shirt on underneath that tie. Don't ruin your blazer at a Corporate Hoes and CEOs party because you're going to need it someday.
Vacation is an actual vacation
...This includes for your liver, too. You no longer have Spring Break, but then again you also don't have herpes from a senior guy who has already boned six other women.
"Getting away" when you're 18: Releasing inhibitions, making out with upperclassmen, and someone somewhere is puking. Paradise.
Getting away when you're in your late 20s: Releasing stress, making out like a bandit in the casino, and someone somewhere is at work while you're not. Paradise.
Inspirational quotes are highly subjective
Proof that growing older does, in fact, make you wiser.
Congratulations! You've finally weened yourself off strawberry flavored rubbing alcohol and graduated to the good stuff. We all have to let go sometime. And while I'd say we have fond memories of chugging fruit-flavored liquor, the truth is we really don't (have memories, period).
Dressing up and drinking OR dressing up your baby... and then drinking? Perhaps it's a good thing we don't have kids yet. Not until football season is over, at least.
Club Pillow sounds way healthier than whatever's lurking in a dark corner in Miami. And just like that, we've revealed our true (old) age to you. See you drooling next to DJ Blanky.