Love Is Better When Filtered: Your Relationship On Instagram Vs. Your Real Life
No relationship is perfect, but with the help of Instagram, we can make it appear that way. While intimate moments and romantic outings used to be part of a couple's private life, now we aren't satisfied until we make every single friend on our feed privy to our dating lives, causing them to weep from loneliness afterward. (You got me, b*tches.)
If you're riding solo, just remember that Instagram is a like a tabloid magazine: What's Photoshopped is not real and the better the pictures, the more likely they are to be a misrepresentation. (But if you're going to dump your relationship on social media, remember to go with Lo-Fi. It never fails.)
Aww, he cooked you dinner
Nevermind that it tasted like Chef Boyardee's left cankle and looked like a singed gooseneck, X-Pro II should fix all of that. Nothing says romance like a preheated can of SpaghettiOs in front of the television... Eiffel Tower not included.
These candles were lit solely for Instagram purposes
Blew them out before he even got home because, I look better with the lights completely off safety first. It's the thought that counts anyway, right?
Apple picking isn't just for basic b*tches...
...It's for basic boyfriends, too! And they're really happy about it. Perhaps you should've gone for pumpkins instead?
Sunday Funday activities with my boo!
Does receiving a dead arm from spooning all day count as an activity? Sex and converting oxygen to carbon dioxide is the only thing you want to do together on Sunday Funday.
Romance is *not* dead
Living together isn't all rainbows and sunshine and clean toilet seats. Love notes are just not what they used to be.
You guys aren't fooling anyone. Dressing up in fancy clothes can only do so much.
Photoshop is Silicon Valley's greatest gift to number twos and Tinder singles everywhere. You can actually have the boyfriend of your dreams -- just swipe through these filters. No one will know your boyfriend isn't a total dreamboat.
My boyfriend is more thoughtful than yours!
Yay, paperclips! How generous. When people ask you what your boyfriend got you for your birthday, you often respond with what you would've liked instead, like, "Oh, nothing crazy. Just two bouquets of flowers, a new dress, surprise trip, 10 slices of cake and an entire birthday party." He's the best.
Going out is expensive. Staying in is free. The only date you're having is with Pumpkin Oreos. Throw some tea in the mix and things are going to get pretty wild.
Unless you're serving the nachos or wearing his jersey to bed, he doesn't want you anywhere near the game. And let's be honest with ourselves here, neither do we.
My BF treats me like a princess!
We use the term "princess" loosely. Some of us are (Dairy) Queens.