I can't even. No literally, I just, I... I... I can't.
Don't be silly; you can, you just don't want to! It's OK, don't be too hard on yourself and welcome to the club -- population: everyone else.
There are endless activities and obligations we would rather skip out on simply because we really just don't feel like dealing with them.
But that's just a little something we like to call life and, unfortunately, you really can, so suck it up and just, well, do it.
Sure, you may not want to travel home to visit your family while your head is pounding through your skull, but you made these plans weeks ago, so who do you really have to blame for being hungover? Yup... yourself, that's who.
So what are some of the things we really just can't even with? Well...
1. Exercising Hungover
Hungover exercising always sounds like a good idea until you're lying on the floor begging for the sweet release of death. — Drunk Grad Student (@DrunkGrad) August 18, 2013
Exercise... ex.. er.. cise... ex.. are.. size... eggs. are. sides... for bacon... BACON!
Exercising hungover is perhaps the worst thing a girl can do to herself in that state of mind. How are you expected to get in a good workout? Your head is pounding, you still have the taste of tequila in your mouth and you get increasingly nauseated every time you attempt a sit-up.
But then you realize the best way to cure a hangover is probably to sweat it out. So pop some Advil, throw on your Lulus and just try to get some cardio in — you'll be very proud of yourself afterwards.
2. Meeting Your Significant Other's Family
Of course, this is a stepping stone in any serious relationship, but it doesn't mean you're looking forward to it. I mean who looks forward to Judgment Day? No, seriously, tell me, I'm waiting...
3. Going To Work The Day After Vacation
The worst part about early morning flights is people judging you when you order wine — Ashley Fern (@disco_infern0) September 11, 2014
Not requesting the day after you come back from vacation off is a rookie mistake. No, seriously, it is. Everyone knows exactly what you were up to over your break and your empty, hungover look isn't impressing anyone at the office.
4. Exercising On The Weekend
Does anyone actually want to do anything on the weekends? You told yourself you would hit the gym this weekend because you were too busy during the week, but now that it's Saturday morning that's the last thing you want to do whatsoever.
Microwaving stuff, because cooking at normal speed is like running one hundred metres with your legs tied to a lethargic flamingo. — Matt Thomas (@mattthomasdrums) May 12, 2014
Is ordering takeout and microwaving it the next day considered cooking? Hmm... if I order dinner and destroy the evidence, can I pretend I actually prepared this gourmet meal? Ugh... guess not. I guess I'll actually have to put some sort of effort in. But delivery is so much easier...
6. Tipping Anywhere That's Not A Sit-Down Restaurant
Why is there even an option to tip at a coffee shop? The coffee was already made and you simply just put it in a to-go cup. I'm confused; wouldn't that fall under your job requirements...
Now I just feel like a grade-A douchebag while you watch me draw a line through the tip section.
7. Friday Nights
i DONT WANT TO SOCIALIZE LEAVE ME — danika (@kawaiicxtforth) September 17, 2014
My blankets have accepted me for who I am, and I just can't leave their comfort. After a long and hard work week, the last thing anyone feels like doing is socializing. Isn't it more fun to just lie in bed and catch up on some much needed sleep?
Of course it is, but do we ever choose this option...
8. Brushing Your Teeth While You're Already In Bed
Will this one night really make a difference? I mean you can always just brush twice as hard in the morning... right? RIGHT? Right...
You have the power to STOP showering worldwide #ihateshowers #showerhate — I HATE SHOWERS (@noshowers) April 24, 2014
I don't know which is worse, showering at night after a long day when all you want to do is be horizontal or in the morning after another sh*tty night of sleep. Is there ever actually a desirable time to shower? In my personal opinion, I'm going to have to go with a big, fat NO.
No girl likes shaving, no girl likes washing her hair and no girl likes standing, bored for 10-15 minutes on end. The worst part? Everything that comes after the shower. Let the rigorous process begin yet again...
10. Call Your Grandma
PSA: I love my grandma, I really do and she knows that. She also knows that she can't have a phone call that lasts for less than 10 minutes. It doesn't matter how frequently you keep in touch with her, there is no such thing as a quick hello when calling your G-ma.
She can talk to you about anything and everything. She wants to know every single detail about your life: how your nonexistent love life is doing, how your mediocre job is doing and how that budget you never got around to making is doing.
You know what? F it — I'm calling my grandma.
11. Sticking To Your Diet
When you're high after you smoke you just wonder "wtf is a diet?" You eat w.e tf you want lol — Lucky Lefty (@MrComfortableBG) September 15, 2014
Why would you ever opt for a salad when things such as mac and cheese exist? Sure, it may be easier to follow your diet during the week, but as soon as that first sip of alcohol passes your lips on a Saturday night, you know it's leading to pizza.
Whatever, I'd rather be breaking my diet while enjoying what I'm eating than restricting myself to this vegan meal plan.
But it's haaaaard.
Isn't the whole point of earning a salary so you can splurge on things and spoil yourself? Isn't it? Am I missing something here? Ugh, another month and I still can only barely afford rent, maybe this whole budgeting thing is worth looking into.
13. Taking Public Transportation
Public transportation doesn't fuck with me — Kenny Taylor (@Taylor_MadeKen) September 17, 2014
Oh, sure, this may sound bratty, but if you've never taken the Subway during the rush hour commute, you have no business talking. Do you know what it's like to have a 95-year-old man essentially grind up all in your business?
Public transportation is where personal space and human awareness goes to die. No one asked you to breathe on me or touch me — you know what, don't even look at me.
14. Going On A Blind Date
You've been complaining that you've been single for the past six months; you've been begging your friends to set you up with ANYONE. But when the time actually comes to pull the blind date trigger, well, you'd rather just not.
But really, what do you even have to lose except for a few mere hours of your time, dignity and brain cells?
Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It