Graphology has always been a fun way to deconstruct ourselves.
It tells us things like how extroverted we are, how open we are to new ideas and how we behave in our relationships.
But more recently, the National Pen Company provided a step-by-step infographic about what our handwriting can tell us regarding our own health.
While that sounds fun, the analysis didn't focus on the positive.
In fact, the infographic pointed to diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and schizophrenia.
Sounds like a barrel of laughs, am I right?
If you were thinking of learning graphology as a cool, fun party trick, you might want to leave these predictive factoids at home.
But if you're morbidly as curious about your health as I am, here's what the National Pen Company had to say about it:
Overall, if you're writing with a heavy pressure, this indicates high levels of energy, while a light pressure demonstrates a lack of energy or exhaustion.
Parkinson's disease can be signified by small, cramped handwriting. It's so tiny that sometimes even the writer can't read it.
Although last time I checked, small handwriting was a sign of perfectionism. So, interpret that as you will.
When someone's writing has a slant that varies within a sentence or multiple time within a single word, this could be a sign of schizophrenia.
The National Pen Company thinks this a sign someone doesn't have "continual contact with reality"
Funny, I'd think asking a pen company if you're schizophrenic would be a more glaring sign of insanity than your handwriting slant.
Apparently, writing that goes from light to dark and varies in pressure could be an indication of high blood pressure, which makes me so nervous I'm typing this harder than I usually do.
Did my blood pressure just rise?
It's probably because the National Pen Organization is scaring the shit out of me.