In case you need any further convincing that 2017 is a sign of the apocalypse, everyone's favorite dirty emoji is set to get its own movie... and we're definitely a little bit nervous about the consequences of The Eggplant Emoji.
I know what you're thinking, and no, I have't mistaken this for the seemingly innocent Emoji Movie coming to theaters.
In fact, thanks to my super-sleuthing Nancy Drew ways, I've discovered news about an adult version of the emoji innuendo that has nothing to do with the fruit in question. You're welcome, folks.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Jake Szymanski, who directed HBO's mockumentary Tour de Pharmacy, is set to work on The Eggplant Emoji for Netflix. Though an exact release date has yet to be determined, viewers can expect the eggplant to hit TV screens at some point in 2018.
Anyone want to take a guess about the movie's main premise?
The film will be an R-rated man date where a camper accidentally cuts off his own "eggplant" and attempts to save the appendage with the help of his buddies. The Eggplant Emoji is set to be in the same vein as the 2007 comedy Superbad, so given that comparison, I'm sure you can envision how this will all turn out.
There's certainly a lot to love about the eggplant emoji... if you're a dude.
The dating app Clover looked into the texting habits of 3 million users to see which emojis were working, and they discovered that men love to send the eggplant emoji, while women are less inclined to respond to the fruit. Females, on the other hand, get a kick out of sending the diamond ring emoji, which elicits about as much excitement from men as the eggplant does for women.
Emojis have certainly become a modern-day communication phenomenon. Undoubtedly, The Eggplant Emoji movie will be... something.