Your Date's Pizza Preference Says These 4 Surprising Things About Them
If there's one single food on the planet that the majority of people can agree is the edible equivalent of a ride-or-die, pizza is 100 percent it, hands down. Disagree? Sorry, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave. There are, in fact, very few things pizza can't do. It may even be able to predict whether it's time to next your date, á la the 2005 MTV dating show. Because what your date's pizza preference means is a rather delicate science, it's far more insightful than astrology. I mean, come on. Planets in the sky hold very little significance when compared to buttery flatbread ladled with cheese and generously sprinkled with whatever luscious morsels strike your fancy. (Kidding! Kind of.)
However, not all pizza slices are created equal, especially when a date demonstrates a disregard for common decency by thinking that anchovy is ever OK to order on a first date. That's basically like telling your date that you still suck your thumb within 20 minutes of meeting them. It's just not right.
Of course, there's someone out there for everyone, but being observant when it comes to your date's slice of choice might just help you suss out some very telling things about them.
1. If They Like To Spice Things Up
I'm sorry, but spice compatibility is something that's rarely talked about, and TBH, it's a real problem. Does your date go scrambling for the pepper flakes, extra parm, and zesty olive oil? Then there's a pretty good chance they aren't afraid to take a walk on the wild side when it comes to non-food related spiciness, too. Maybe they're a bit sassier than they seem at first, or perhaps they like to really bring the heat between the sheets. Similarly, if triple hot sauce is your style, and the thought of the "heat" of a bell pepper sends your date running in the opposite direction, then maybe (definitely) it just wasn't meant to be.
2. Whether They Have A Traditional Or Modern Mindset
When it comes to getting to know someone new, over time it usually becomes clear whether or not they have a more traditional or modern way of thinking. Which slice they crave when it comes time to order could definitely shed some light on where they fall on the spectrum of old-school versus new-school.
Old-schoolers (i.e. margherita, pepperoni, and cheese lovers) are much more likely to have an appreciation for tradition in other areas such as their taste in music and art. Meanwhile, those with more modern cravings (i.e., buffalo chicken, white, or seafood) probably love to stay on the edge of trends in film, music, TV, and fashion.
Modern-thinking pizza lovers may also tend to be a bit more rebellious when it comes to breaking the rules. Roasted veggie baes and white pizza fanatics, I’m totally looking at you. This is hard science, people! Facts!
3. How They Grew Up
If you step up to the counter and your date orders, say, a Hawaiian slice, don't rush to make any premature judgments, even if it does send a shiver of disapproval down your spine. They may have very well grown up with a “cool mom” who would allow something as sacrilegious as fruit on pizza to fly.
But then again, if you find out they love nothing more than to drench their pizza in ranch, you could definitely have a major rule breaker on your hands, which (depending on what you’re looking for in a bae) could certainly be good news. Rule breakers make life exciting! But on the flip side, they may not always like hearing the word “no.” No one likes a temper tantrum. Too much sauce on pizza could equal too much sauce IRL.
4. If They Can Hang With You
I’d like to consider myself to be a pretty tolerant person. My partner is a vegetarian, and aside from secretly feeding him meat products on occasion (JK, baby… sort of), I try to be v respectful.
But relationships (like most things in life) require compromise, and let’s be honest, a hottie can make it very tempting to overlook areas of incompatibility. If you’re a meat lovers type of person, you’re probs a bit less sensitive to the plight of animals as a food source than a strict vegan would be.
All my vegans out there, you probably find it easier to practice self-restraint and might be a more disciplined type of person overall. Again, neither one is bad, but picking up on these nuances can make it easier to see where they fall on any given spectrum.
While judging people based on their food preferences might seem totally trolly, how else are you supposed to make it through all of your dating app matches clogging your inbox. And while there may be a ton of free thinkers running around saying you should “date whomever you want,” sometimes, food comes before feelings. Sorry not sorry! Pizza is priority, everyone.
But then again, if you feel compelled to give them the benefit of the doubt, you could always decide to (*gasp*) give them a chance even if their tastes teeter on the unpopular side. Maybe they can teach you to broaden your pizza spectrum! Like that one kid in your middle school friend group who thought Flamin' Hot Cheetos were gross but who eventually came around.
Which brings me to my most important point: If you find out your date still eats Flamin’ Hot Cheetos on a semi-regular basis, then you need to drag them to the altar with haste — you've caught yourself a real-life unicorn.
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