Relationships

12 Times To Post A Thirst Trap That Have Nothing To Do With A Guy

by Alison Segel

I love a good thirst trap. In fact, my Instagram is pretty much full of them. Yet people always question my intentions. "You're trying to find a boyfriend, right?" Umm no. "You know this makes you unemployable?" Really? It shouldn't. Why post a thirst trap in the first place, though? Well, there are a lot of reasons. None of them should devalue me as a person or a professional, and none of them should necessarily have to do with seeking out a mate or male attention. Can't I just feel great about myself and want the world to know? What are pictures for, anyway?

I hate the societal notion that if I, a woman, put a picture of myself on the internet, it's automatically because I'm seeking the approval of others. Additionally, it's also assumed that any photo of me displayed is totally open for critique or praise, no matter how mean or vulgar. Can't a selfie just ever be an innocent, happy picture of myself, no matter what I'm wearing or doing in it? Maybe the only thing I'm trapping is my own confidence, OK?

So here are some reasons to post a thirst trap that have absolutely nothing to do with a guy. Because newsflash: THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND MEN or their approval. (Sorry to break it to them. This news must be devastating.)

1. When You Shaved Your Legs For The First Time In 80 Years

I mean, that's worth sharing. But most likely, it'll be a blood bath. I have literally never shaved my legs without it looking like a crime scene afterward.

2. When You're On A Solo Vacation

Traveling alone is very empowering. I mean, have you ever seen Eat, Pray, Love? Or read it? I guess it was a book first. (Do people still read?) Anyway, in it, a woman embarks on an important journey of self-discovery through traveling alone. So if you're flying solo, thirst trap away while doing it. It's a great way to make a memory. (And that's how we make memories now — through taking pics of them and posting them on Instagram.)

3. When You Just Got That Promotion

YES, B*TCH. YOU ARE A STRONG, POWERFUL CAREER WOMAN, AND YOU TAKE THAT SELFIE.

4. When You're Feeling Hot

Because sometimes, you're so good-looking that you turn yourself on.

5. Because You Feel Like It

You ever think that maybe you're just posting a thirst trap because you want to?

6. Because It's A Day Of The Week That Ends In Y

Thirst traps aren't just for thirsty Thursdays. They're for thirsty Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, too.

7. Because Not Everything Has To Do With Male Approval

My thirst traps are not a beauty contest. I'm not putting them on the internet and asking for you to judge me. I don't need you to tell me my tits look nice. I already know. The photo isn't for you. It's for me. Thanks.

8. When You Finally Finish A Major Life Goal

When I finish a seven-hour work shift working from home all day in my pajamas, sometimes, I actually like to put on real-people clothing and put a picture of myself on the internet so I don't feel like a total slob. It's definitely not for you, guy I've talked to once who thinks I have a crush on him.

9. When You Run A Single Errand And Feel Invincible

I mailed a letter! I should be president.

10. When You Get A New Phone And Wanna Test It Out

I recently got the iPhone 8. Time to test out that portrait mode.

11. Because You Want To Show Off A New Outfit

*when the package from Zara arrives*

12. Because You Showered And That's A Miracle

I literally shower, do my hair, and put on makeup, like, once every two weeks. Please let me celebrate this moment!

If you want to post a thirst trap, then post it. And if someone thinks it's about them, tell them to go f*ck themselves. Or if that seems a little excessive (sorry, I'm on one today), then maybe just direct them to Carly Simon's "You're So Vain." This thirst trap ain't about them.

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