It seems like every other day, we're reading (or rather, mourning) about yet another celebrity couple that once seemed so in love splitting up. Whether that's Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan (I was shook) or Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson (though, TBH, I think we all saw that one coming), these are couples who seem to have it all but can't quite make the relationship work. And it feels like it happens all the time. Why do so many celebrity couples get divorced or break up? Is there some sort of celeb curse we're not aware of, or does it just seem to happen more often in celebs because their lives are so public?
"Celebrity couples are absolutely more likely to divorce or split up," Alessandra Conti, celebrity matchmaker at Matchmakers In The City, tells Elite Daily. "A lot of high-profile people are quick to jump into relationships," she says, adding, "the saying 'it’s lonely at the top' has a lot of truth to it." She says the reason celebrities are often drawn to each other is because, "when a celebrity reaches a certain level of notoriety, it is tough for them to connect with new people because they are concerned with what that person’s motives are." So they chose to date someone "in a similar place in their careers in the spotlight," because, as Conti says, that offers a level of trust they might not be able to find otherwise.
That makes sense, but it doesn't explain why they split up so often. As it turns out, what brings the couples together is often the cause of the relationships ending, either directly or indirectly. Here are some of the reasons celebrity duos rarely go the distance, according to experts.
If you’ve rushed into a relationship quickly, you probably already know they don't tend to work out exactly how you would have hoped and, according to Conti, hooking up quickly is common in Hollywood. “I have worked with a lot of public figures who are successful but feel as though something is missing in their lives. They have realized so many of their dreams, yet still feel an emptiness,” says Conti. “Some celebrities turn to drugs to fill this void, but others turn to love. If they aren’t careful, though, they can enter too hastily into a romantic relationship, only to realize that the person who they are infatuated with doesn’t actually have qualities that are compatible for a long-term partnership.”
Laurel House, celebrity dating and relationship expert, and resident sex expert for My First Blush, says that being in the spotlight is often the cause of celebrity couples breaking up. “Unlike your average non-celebrity couple, celebrities are constantly watched, scrutinized, judged, and even followed. Unless very carefully hidden, there are no unnoticed secrets, bad days, or momentary breakdowns allowed without it being blown up, exposed, and consumed by the media, fans, and haters.”
As you can imagine, all this scrutiny puts a ton of pressure on the relationship. House explains that over time, “This constant state of insecurity, questioning, and scrutiny can lead to distrust, accusations, and separation.”
There is plenty to envy about the lifestyle of a celebrity, but it’s also really stressful, and stress can be a real relationship killer whether you're a celeb or not. As Dr. Claudia Luiz, a psychoanalyst and author of The Making of a Psychoanalyst explains, “They already live in a pressure cooker often. People with them not only have a responsibility to their audience, but also to their business, which may employ hundreds of people. Between the high visibility and the responsibility, it doesn’t make sense for them to tolerate a lot of conflict and spend time processing their emotions. They need clarity quickly, and often this means amicably parting ways.”
Getting divorced is especially expensive. Whether it’s paying for lawyers or even just the expense of moving out, it's a real resource drain. As a result, regular couples have more economic pressure to make the relationship work. Celebrities, on the other hand, as Dr. Luiz explains, aren’t under same financial or familial constraints. “Children are often raised with the help of many nannies, and there is wealth, [so] there are fewer practical reasons reason to stick it out,” she says.
While we don't like to think our favorite celebrity couples would cheat on one another, the reality is that famous folks face a lot more temptation. As House points out, that can come from “complete strangers [who] throw themselves on the celebrity, with complete lack of care as to the celebrity’s relationship status or situation in the moment,” or who propositions them online “by sending sexy messages, spreading false rumors about the celebrity or about their partner, and attempting to break the celerity relationship apart.”
Things can also get tricky in the workplace for celebrities when they “blur lines while on set working on their TV shows, movies, and productions,” says House. “Long hours with co-stars and colleagues, as well as roles that require intimacy — emotionally and physically — can create vulnerability, temptation, and openings for illicit relationships. This can also create jealousy and insecurity in their partners.”
When celebrity couples break up, it’s common for them to cite too much time spent apart as a reason why it didn’t work out, which House says makes sense. “A lack of physical contact with their partner for long stretches of time while one or both of them are away shooting, working, and unable to connect can create a need for intimacy and a feeling of disconnection from their partner,” she explains. “Regardless of how great they are at emotionally connecting on the phone, text, and email, physical connection is essential for deeper emotional connection, as well as for expanded understanding, kindness, and trust. When there is a lack of physicality, one or both of them may crave it and attempt to satisfy it through outside relationships.”
I think the takeaway here is that the lifestyle of a celebrity is just not relationship-friendly. It’s kind of a miracle that any of them make it. I don’t know about you, but it makes me appreciate my normal life just a little bit more, and understand where our fave celeb couples (as much as we miss them) are coming from when they call it quits.
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