Who Pays For The Uber On A Date? Here's How To Figure It Out

On one of the most romantic nights of my life, a quasi-boyfriend (literally, what is a label; please, someone tell me) ordered me an Uber to his apartment through the February slush. When I arrived, he was running a hot bath filled with rose petals surrounded by softly glowing white candles, and had my favorite bottle of red wine waiting on the counter. As absurd as this sounds, I sometimes forget about the bath, the roses, the candles, and the wine; the car service always sticks in my mind. It actually matters who pays for the Uber on a date. In 2017, I take romance where I can get it. That Uber felt like a chariot.

I was touched that he had paid for my car ride, especially since it was a rare moment of chivalry for me. I don't know about you, but it's been a minute since a guy has paid for my ride like that. I usually take the subway on dates, and I typically swipe my own MetroCard at $2.75 a pop, thank you very much. I hardly ever Uber myself — what, a chauffeur? In this economy? I'm good.

While that guy certainly didn't have to pay for my Uber, it was a sweet gesture. It was refreshing to have every detail of the night totally taken care of, and I appreciated it.

But beyond treating your date or partner, it's worth considering — when should you pay for their Uber, and when should they pay for yours? There's no solid etiquette around the subject, and the practice varies depending on a lot of factors, including how people typically get around in your town or city, how much money you both make, and the nature of your relationship. But with a little common sense and common decency, we can figure out how to make this work.

Below is a list of circumstances in which someone might want to pay for your ride.


1. They chose a location that they know isn't convenient for you... but it's practically in their backyard.

2. You're both out drinking, and neither of you wants to be the designated driver.

3. It's raining/freezing/snowing/late, and they beg you to come over because they're horny.

4. You paid for the actual date itself, so the least they can do is pay for your ride home.

5. You paid for their Uber last time.

6. It's your birthday!

7. They seriously messed up, and it's time to win you back.

8. They want to do something special for you.

9. They need to see you ASAP — and for whatever reason, you can't get to them right away on your own.

10. It's late, and you're worried your trip home won't be safe.

11. You spent the night at their place, which happens to be super far away from where you're going.

12. You're not feeling well.

13. They want to impress you.

(BTW: Uber's newest features make all that chivalry super easy. With the most recent updates, you can now order rides for other people and lock in a fare in advance.)

If you don't make Christian Grey-level money, don't sweat it. Most people don't actually expect their dates to order them private cars wherever they go, and you probably don't need to foot the bill for every single one of the scenarios above. But every once in a while, it's a really considerate treat.

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