Here's the thing: When your couch is comfortable, you have all the snacks you could ever want at your fingertips, and your favorite show is on the TV, why would you ever want to get up? It's so hard to leave that little piece of heaven on Earth, so I fully understand where a coach potato is coming from. In fact, I am currently sitting on my own couch right now, and have zero plans to get up any time soon. I guess you could say I'm a couch potato as well, and when you're a couch potato, you just appreciate the simple things in life.
You understand the importance of finding comfort, and then just staying in there as long as possible. Some people would say we're "lazy," but I'm sure those people just have really hard couches they never want to sit on. Plus, they probably have never truly experienced the two things we know to be absolutely true — couches are great and getting up is an option. There's actually a few things my fellow couchies know to be true as well, and it's these eight things we can all relate to. Now, tell Netflix we're still watching, because we're here, we're comfortable, and we're not going anywhere.
Oh no, you got up to go to the bathroom and in the process, you left the remote by the TV. Now some weird show is on, and you can't easily change the channel. Sure, you could just get up and grab the remote, but instead you decide to be open-minded and watch whatever weird show is on now.
To pizza or to popcorn? Now, that is the question. You really wanted to just order one thing, but you took so long to decide that now you're starving and end up over-ordering. It's OK, leftovers are great for eating three or four episodes later in your binging process.
We've all been there before. We start binging a show, and get totally wrapped up in it. We promised ourselves we would go to sleep at a reasonable hour, so we could wake up the next morning. However, we end up just staying up until the next morning, finishing the whole thing — oops!
On the other side of things, there are times when you do get too comfortable and end up falling asleep before finishing what you were watching. When you wake up, you're totally disoriented on where you left off, and whether you should finish it or not.
I blame the couch. It's just so darn comfortable.
Sure, I get that a couch is meant for more than just one person. I guess that's its purpose. But, whenever you have someone over and they sit on your couch, they better not sit in your special spot. OK, sure, they don't know it's your special spot, but they will soon when they feel your evil eyes now staring them down.
I get that it's just checking in, but when Netflix asks, "Are you still watching," I feel like it's being a bit condescending. Yes, I'm still watching Netflix. I know it's been several hours. I would just like to keep watching Parks and Rec for the one millionth time without interruption. Thank you.
You and your couch fit together like two puzzle pieces, and quite literally. Your couch has now molded to your body. I know my couch dips a little in the middle from sitting there so often, and it's just another reminder that my couch and I were MFEO.
When you have everything you could ever want an arm's length away, why would you want to leave? You've definitely pondered what it would be like to just live on your couch forever. Just don't let your bed know you've been thinking these things. It could get jealous.
