If you're worried about when to have to sex with someone new for the first time, just stop right now. The right time to have sex is whenever you both want to. You're not a slut if you hook up the first time you meet, and you're not a prude if you wait until the relationship turns serious.
Here's a perfectly good rationale for hooking up on any particular date, because the only person who gets to decide the timeline of your life is you.
On The First Date
Do it because you want to. Because you're two consenting adults who are hella into each other and you can't wait another moment. Because you're insanely attracted to this person, and their hand is lingering on your waist, and you can't think of a reason not to go home together.
On The Second Date
Do it because they told a ridiculously charming joke in the middle of dinner that briefly made you wonder what they look like naked.
On The Third Date
Do it because it's weirdly traditional? If Sex and the City's prim and proper Charlotte York advocates for getting down on a third date, you know it's fine.
On The Fourth Date
Do it because you bought really cute black lace underwear at Victoria's Secret last weekend and somebody should see it. And no, your roommate doesn't count.
On The Fifth Date
Do it because you kind of planned to wait until you had a talk about being exclusive, but you're horny, so whatever.
On The Sixth Date
Do it because you actually were ready to have sex last week, but then you got your period. And even though there's nothing wrong with period sex, you didn't want to deal with that for your first time together, so you waited for the week to be over. You don't make enough money to replace your white sheets on the regs.
On The Seventh Date
Do it because your roommate is finally out of town, thank effing God.
On The Eighth Date
Do it because they invited you apple-picking along with all their friends, and you got lost in the corn maze together, and then caught in the rain, and it was the most romantic Saturday afternoon you've ever had.
On The Ninth Date
Do it because you've always wanted to show up at someone's house in just a trench coat with nothing underneath, and it's finally trench coat weather.
On The Tenth Date
Do it because you just broke up with 23 other suitors on camera, and Chris Harrison says it's finally time for a trip to the Fantasy Suite so you and your honey can have a little privacy before getting engaged.
On The Eleventh Date
Do it because you promised yourself you'd take it slow after your last breakup, and you finally feel comfortable and safe with this new person, and that's something worth celebrating.
On The Twelfth Date
Do it because you reminded bae how important it is to get tested, and they just got their results back from the clinic — all clear.
On The Thirteenth Date
Do it because you texted them about your rough day, and when you got to their place, they poured you a glass of red wine and offered to give you a massage. Also, you're pretty sure the music playing in the background was their sex playlist, because it was mostly just The Weeknd.
On The Fourteenth Date
Do it because you finally feel ready to be vulnerable in front of another person, and that's a huge deal. Whatever doubts were lingering in the back of your mind before — like feeling self-conscious about your body, confused about your sexuality, or unsure about the strength of your connection with this person — are clearing up. And you're ready to take that next step.
On The Fifteenth Date
Do it because sex is fun and why not?
On The Five Hundredth Date
Do it because you've always wanted to wait for marriage, and holy moly, you're married now.
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