Is Sex On The First Date A Bad Idea? 4 Reasons It's Totally Fine, As Long As You're Comfortable With It
There are so many rules for women regarding sex floating around out there. But you never hear the same rules for men. Boys, make sure you wait to have sex, or people will think you're a slut! Yeah, that doesn't exist. Of course, though, people preach to women all the time about the need to wait to have sex. But is sex on the first date for women actually OK? I say yes. Why the hell not?
You know the old saying "no one will want to buy the cow if they can get the milk for free?" Well, essentially, it's an outdated idea meaning that no one will want to marry you if they can f*ck you whenever they want. But here's the thing: You are not a cow, and I certainly do not align myself with old sayings that compare women to them. So let's just throw that archaic idea out the window right now. Moo.
Women should seek out and enjoy pleasure, especially with someone they're on a date with whom they like. To me, that seems like the perfect person to hook up with! "I'm sorry, I can't hook up with you. A self-help book told me once that I need to wait until the third date to invite you into my home." That feels like BS to me.
So here are reasons why sex on the first date is totally fine, as long as you're comfortable with it. Because it's 2017, and we're all for feminism and sex positivity over here, all right, y'all?
1. You're Horny, Too
Listen, ladies need loving, and sex isn't something you just give someone else — it's for your pleasure, too. Are we forgetting about that? We say things like "you're just gonna give it up that easy?" but that glosses over one important fact: You want to hook up also. It's not a sacrifice.
So if you're feeling your date and wanna go all the way with them, then why not go for it? Life is too short to play games and not give into temptation every now and then.
2. You'll Figure Out If You Have Sexual Chemistry
Better to find out earlier rather than later whether or not you're physically compatible. I think waiting to lose your virginity for marriage is a really sweet idea, but can you imagine finally having sex with your husband and having no sexual chemistry? Sounds like a nightmare to me. I've hung out with guys for three dates, only to have our first kiss on the fourth and feel no spark. It felt like a huge waste of time, but at least I made a new friend, I guess?
Sometimes, you need to hook up with a crush sooner rather than later to figure out if you're compatible. If you wait too long, you might slip into the dreaded friend zone, and no one wants to go there.
3. You'll Find Out Their Intentions
If your crush is just looking for a hookup, it's also better to find this out sooner rather than later. If you f*ck your date and never hear from them again, then this probably isn't the type of person you want to be dating anyway. You've gotten all the information you needed from the interaction. This is someone who was just looking to get some or can't fathom the idea of a relationship with a woman who is also a sexual being. Either way, not the type of person you want.
4. Waiting Can Make Things More Awkward
I like to wait until I feel emotionally connected to someone to have sex with them, but that can also make things incredibly awkward. There's more at stake! You want to impress one another. You're worried about how you look. Your guy might like you so much, his boner doesn't work. (I'm pretty sure that's actually a thing. Nerves or something.) And then, if it doesn't work out, you feel more fatalistic about it. Is my great relationship over because of first-time bad sex?
Getting boning out of the way early can help to dissolve all that pent up sexual energy that can sometimes flop big time if you wait for too long. Maybe hook up on date one, so by date three or four, when you really like each other, you have the whole sex thing down to a science.
If you want to have sex on the first date, do it. Don't confine yourself to old gender constructs that tell you women have to be prude until date number four, until exclusivity, or until marriage. The only thing that does is give other people power over your relationship.
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