What People Do After Sex Is Actually Grosser Than You Might Think

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Ask anyone what you're supposed to do after sex and you'll probably get a variation of responses all about one thing — cuddling. Hate it, love it? I don't really care because that's not exactly what I'm referring to. I want to know what people do right after sex, as in after the main event but before the post-show commentary.

Presumably, there's a certain amount of cleanup involved — so is it every man or woman for themselves or is it more of a team effort? And does this routine vary depending on the nature of your relationship? These are the questions that haunt me.

Curious, I turned to the internet (was this a mistake? Maybe) to determine what most people find themselves doing immediately after having sex. For some, hygiene is a major priority, which means they're off to the showers and I don't blame them. Others prefer the sweet, sweet smell of victory, which basically means they'd rather sit and replay the highlights for a few minutes before doing anything else. Not my thing, but I get it.

A bit of medical advice? If you do nothing else, you should always pee right after having sex to decrease your risk of infection, especially if you're prone to UTIs. But here's what else is likely to happen post-coitus.

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If you've ever wondered what girls do in the bathroom after sex, here's the deal.

We pee. We get cleaned up. We (horrifyingly) find out that sperm floats. We pretend we didn't actually see that and compose ourselves and go back out.

- marshmellowterrorist

Don't know what a bidet is? Think of it as a toilet-sink hybrid that vaguely resembles a toddler's potty. No, you really shouldn't pee in there but it's great for cleaning up when you don't want to hop in the shower.

Bidet! I LOVE my bidet for this!

- ECU_BSN

A hot towel feels great after a massage so I imagine the sensation is about the same here.

Guy here. Wipes are the easiest, but my personal favorite is a hot towel. Feels great on your junk afterwards.

- OperationCodename

Turns out, lots of people are using baby wipes long before the baby comes along.

I'm hardly gonna lie down sweaty and leaking, am I? At the very least, baby wipes to genital area and a trip to the bathroom to pee.

- colourinsanity

If baby wipes aren't really your thing, there are other options.

There are special ph balanced wipes/soaps for lady bits. I use a wipe after sex.

- YangsSeveredArm

This seems legit.

My ex would run to the bathroom afterwards to reapply her human skin in case it was sagging, or some evil was showing.

- plinky4

It happens to the best of us.

Well, because the sperm tends to just drop back out of me (and call me crazy, I'm just not into that), I make a run to the john afterwards. I just tell him I've gotta go make a deposit at the bank... or.....I'm gonna go drop your kids off at the pool.

- flippityfloppity

So it's not exactly the bend and snap coined by Elle Woods in Legally Blonde but it's got a catchy name.

I pee and do the squat and rinse in the shower with lukewarm water but no soap. I don't add soap bc I don't want to upset the mess of bacteria and ph regulating going on down there anyway. That's all. I used to be very prone to yeast infections and I haven't had one in years since I started doing this.

- kittykattkay

I'm sorry, is "sex towel" a metaphor for something else?

Toss the sex towel in the hamper. Go pee. Grab warm wet wash cloths and towels for me and my lady friend. Occasionally clean up is a loving mutual act. She then pees. Maybe a shower if a mess. If I'm ready for bed, everything is quick so I can race for the covers.

- chalexa_red

This doesn't really seem conducive to a productive work day but whatever.

I realize this is totally unhygienic, but I tend to not clean myself up after morning sex because I love the random sex smells I get throughout the day. Makes for some goooood daydreaming.

- buginout

Now, is this the same as a sex towel?

Personally, if you cum on me, it's nice to be wiped off, especially if it's been an intense session. It's gentlemanly and sweet and increases your chances of getting laid again a hundred percent. Otherwise there's a cum towel, and we both pee if it's my bf. We shower if it's been a couple of days or my period was heavy. I dunno how you guys can blow all this money on baby wipes for jizz mopping frankly, plus the smell reminds me of a hospital.

- Sugalitestare

I mean, it works.

Dick in the sink.

- Snowjob2

As Demi Lovato once said, what's wrong with being confident?

Lie in a pool of sweat and bask in my awesomeness.

- nickachu_

I'd like to add that washing your sheets after sex should also be on this list for obvious reasons. Carry on!

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