What Millennials Don't Want To Be Asked On Thanksgiving — So Please Listen Up
'Tis the season to be asked a thousand questions about your life. Well, at least if you're a millennial or sitting at the "kids table" on Thanksgiving Day, you know this to be true. You walk through the door and are greeted by relatives who you typically only see once a year. They give you a big hug, and then instantly start with lighthearted questions about school or your new office, and you politely answer. The most frustrating part is that they mean well, and just want the best for you, but you'd rather not have to answer — again. Here's exactly what millennials don't want to be asked on Thanksgiving. Please listen up, relatives, because certain questions are getting really old.
As a millennial, you're tired of your personal life becoming a side dish at the turkey dinner. Everybody is casually talking about old family stories or the vacation they took last month. Pop culture always gets brought up at some point — but then, there's a lull in conversation. Your heart starts racing a bit, because you know what's coming: the questions. The detailed inquiries and advice about your relationships, friendships, and plans for the future. (Can we go back to talking about Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, please?)
You smile and nod through it all, making up answers when you don't really have one. These 11 millennials understand the struggle can be all too real at times, and are sharing exactly what you don't want to be asked on Thanksgiving, yet again.
1. Don't Make A Millennial Repeat Their College Major
My least favorite thing is repeating my major over and over again. I hate being constantly asked what my major is — also, if I've found my "special someone." I haven't.
2. Don't Ask When They're Going To Get Married
The question I know I am going to get asked at Thanksgiving is, "Hey, when are you and John going to get married?" We're just starting to #adult. Let us live!
3. Don't Ask About Their Post-Graduation Plans
"What do you want to do when you graduate?" As a junior in college and having one more year left, I still have no idea what I want to do "when I graduate" with a BFA in photography and video. I have some general ideas, but plans change all the time. It's a pressuring question, and a lot of college undergrads hate answering! Most family members mean well, but there's a lot of pressure to work right after you graduate. What if I don't want to work immediately?
4. Seriously, Just Steer Clear Of Relationships Altogether
One question I don't want to be asked is about my relationships! That's my business, and I don't really want my great aunt who I see once a year's opinion!
5. Don't Ask The Married Couples About When They Plan On Having Kids
The easiest way to ruin a holiday for the young married couple in your life is to ask: "So! When are you two planning to have kids?" I cannot emphasize strongly enough — do not do this! Your question may be well-meaning, but you do not know what sort of personal struggle the young couple may be going through, or if they even want kids. It is never a good idea to ask such personal questions. Stick to something less offensive.
6. Don't Ask If They've Landed A Job Yet
I guess I wouldn't want to be asked, "Do you have a job yet?" On the one hand, if we had to have the conversation, I feel like the people I eat with would be kind, want to give me all the advice in the world, and they would want to help me in any way possible. But on the other hand, that conversation sometimes makes me feel bad, so I'd rather not be asked if I have a job yet!
7. Don't Ask Who They Voted For
This year the questions I definitely don’t want to get asked during Thanksgiving dinner are, “Who did you vote for?” and, “What’s your plan for after you get your master's degree?” The worst conversations that my family could have over the holidays include politics, because nobody can see eye to eye. And I have a general idea of what I’m doing after I get my master’s, but don’t want to hear why my plan is wrong from outspoken relatives!
8. Once Again, Relationships Are Really Off The Table
Coming from a big Italian family, where everyone gets together for the holidays, it’s always a big gathering with everyone talking over one another. Your relatives always want to know your business, and the one dreaded question they’re always bound to ask is, “So, are you seeing anyone?” Same question every year.
9. Give Them Personal Space When It Comes To Tattoos
For the last few years, I have collected a lot of tattoos. They’re things that I really love, and are important and intimate to me. Ever since I started getting them, my family has thought that it's OK to grab and twist my arms and legs to look at them, and ask me about them in a very condescending way.
Yes, they are my family, but I do expect a certain quality of personal space from everyone. My tattoos are exactly that — mine. If I want to share what they mean, then I will.
10. ...And About Their Position On Marriage
I really don't want to be asked about why I'm not getting married. My partner and I have been together for several years and are committed, but for various reasons we've decided that marriage isn't really in the cards for us. To be honest, I don't mind the question about whether we're going to be getting married in and of itself, but it's the, "Why not?" that usually follows that gets me. If it happens, I'll let everyone know, I promise.
11. Don't Ask About Their Student Loans
One question I do not want to be asked by relatives at Thanksgiving dinner is, "When do you have to start paying on your student loans?" My relatives know I went to an expensive college, however, I would rather have them ask me questions about the career path that I chose. It is more meaningful to me to talk about what makes my soul light up, rather than talk about the negative aspect of my college education that could dampen my spirits on the entire experience as a whole.
Some responses have been lightly edited for length and clarity.