Having the same sexual desires and romantic expectations can be super important. This means that your sex drives are aligned and if not, you're both devoted to finding solutions to address that. If one partner is interested in kink, hopefully the other is, too (or at least willing to try).
When it comes to romance, it's all about the little things, like doing activities you two can enjoy together. This gets to the heart of romantic compatibility the way Jessmina "Minaa B." Archbold, psychotherapist, social worker, and author of Rivers Are Coming: Essays and Poems on Healing, defines it. For Archbold, romantic compatibility is when two partners respect each other and have an interest in learning more about each other. "You don’t necessarily have to share the same interests," Archbold tells Elite Daily. "But it means caring enough to learn about each other in order to strengthen the relationship bond, while also learning about each other’s needs."
Romantic compatibility also goes hand-in-hand with bigger decisions, like whether you're trying to be boo'd up indefinitely or just want someone to keep you warm during cuffing season. "You both are in agreement on what you are looking for out of your relationship," says Trombetti. Openness and transparency go a long way here.
There are several factors of emotional compatibility, and they're not black and white. For example, you might be compatible if you have similar religious, political and social views. "How you see the world drives how you act in the world. The more compatible your views, the more likely you are to be compatible," Klapow says. Trombetti echoes this, saying, "People say, 'opposites attract,' but really they don't. They might be different on the outside, but they share the same set of values."
That's not to say that opposites can't attract. If you're, say, really interested in theater and the arts, and your partner is really interested in sports and fitness, that doesn't mean that you can't be in a healthy, happy relationship. Opposites on the outside can attract, yes, but similarities in values and morals on the inside are essential to finding a good match.
If you and your partner share similar mannerisms or lifestyles, that's another sign of compatibility. This includes things like being a neat freak versus being someone who lives in curated chaos. Does bae like to dress up no matter where they're going, or do they keep their 'fits casual? Do you two care about appearances the same amount? As Klapow explains, "The more you are aligned in grooming and social behaviors, the greater the chance of compatibility."
What are our routines like? If they're similar, that's another way in which you might be compatible. "What our partner prefers in their daily routine tells us much about how they are going to be most days," Klapow says. This includes things like whether you and bae are night owls or morning birds. How does your SO feel about unwinding with TV, versus social media scrolling, versus reading a book? What time do they like to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner? If these aspects of your lives match up, they're all signs of compatibility.
And last but not least, what do your life goals look like? Do you and bae have the same academic and career ambitions? Plans for your future? And if they're vastly different, is your partner the type of person to support you, anyway? The more compatibility you have in this area, Klapow says, the easier the long run will be.