What It Means To Make Out On The First Date, As Told By Experts
So you got to the bar an hour ago, and you already know that you want to make out with your Tinder match. They're hella sexy, ordered a cool craft beer without acting obnoxious about ordering a craft beer, and referenced your favorite meme account — you're in. You go for the kiss, and there's tongue, and it's fun! That is, until you get home and Google what making out on the first date means, because you're suddenly second-guessing all that lip action.
There's no reason to freak out. This isn't sixth grade; your date isn't going to tell your entire middle school that you're a "huge slut" because you went to first base. (I just giggled out loud because I forgot until this very moment that calling it "first base" is even a thing.)
But if you're spiraling about what it all means and how the makeout sesh might reflect on your future relationship, please don't worry. I got you covered. I talked to dating coach Monica Parikh, the founder of School of Love NYC. She emphasizes that making out is a good thing! It doesn't matter if it happens on the first date or the fifth or the 50th. Here's what each kind of kiss means, according to an expert.
If Your Date Initiates The Kiss...
"They are hot for you!" Parikh says.
She notes that you can infer some pretty positive traits about your partner if they make the first move. "They have the qualities of a leader," she explains. "Bravery, initiative, courage."
Because hey, no matter how experienced you are, going in for the kiss — especially a kiss with someone you really like! — can be a little nervewracking.
If You Initiate The Kiss...
Consider letting your partner initiate the next kiss. According to Parikh, it's not a bad thing to let your partner work for your affection sometimes.
If you made the first move, you might not be totally sure what your partner is looking for, whether that's a serious romantic relationship or something strictly physical. While I wish there was some magical way to figure it out based on how fast they kissed you back or how intensely they returned the kiss, Parikh says the only way to be certain is to ask.
"Be bold and ask your date, 'Are you looking for a relationship? Or a casual fling?'" she suggests. "When you hear the answer, accept it. I realize that women, especially, can be afraid of asking hard questions, as they can sometimes be fearful of chasing away a potential suitor. But if he was only looking for a physical relationship, it's better to know up front. If both people agree, great! If not, asking these questions up front will save a lot of time and energy."
If The Kiss Was Amazing...
You know that feeling when you walk away from a perfect kiss and it feels like your lips are essentially vibrating with sparkles and rainbows? Treasure that sensation. And see if you can schedule a second date to keep that feeling alive.
If The Kiss Was Terrible...
Not every kiss feels like fireworks. If the kiss didn't scream chemistry, you don't necessarily need to write off your partner.
"There is an element of messiness when two humans swap bodily fluids," Parikh says. "But that's what makes life wonderful — and hilarious, at times. Be cool. Give them another chance."
Maybe your partner was nervous, or had just eaten garlic bread, or recently got out of a long-term relationship and was used to kissing in a specific style (a style you happen to not enjoy). Those signs aren't necessarily the kiss of death... they just mean you had one bad kiss. If you really like someone, they're worth a second date — and a second lip-lock.
However the kiss went, don't panic about what it "means." It happened. And if it was good, hopefully it'll happen again! But if it wasn't the kind of foot-popping embrace that Mia Thermopolis taught you about in The Princess Diaries, don't sweat it — your great kiss could be right around the corner.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!