What Is Kanye-ing? This Dating Trend Is All Too Common
As the wise Yeezy once said, "One of my biggest Achilles' heels has been my ego. And if I, Kanye West, can remove my ego, I think there's hope for everyone." But IMO, there's very little hope that the rapper's ego is going to deflate anytime soon. No one loves Kanye quite as much as Kanye, and if you've ever been on a date with someone who only seems interested in talking about themselves, then you've likely experienced the dating trend called Kanye-ing. Basically, when you get Kanye'd, there's no chance for you to get a word in edgewise — and no hope for a second date. (Elite Daily reached out to reps for West regarding the trend but sadly didn't hear back in time for publication.)
According to Plenty of Fish, an incredible 45% of singles have found themselves trapped in a conversation with a date than feels more like a monologue than a dialogue. You might think having a chatty date is a good thing — after all, a date who isn't interested is usually pretty short and curt with their responses. But a date who's more than happy to answer your questions without asking any in return is likely only interested in one thing: themselves.
What makes this even frustrating is that some people don't even realize when they're Kanye-ing their date. As clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., previously pointed out to Elite Daily, people who engage in one-sided conversations might simply be inexperienced daters. Focusing the conversation on themselves can "come out of a lack of understanding and experience about relationships, compromise, and sharing," Dr. Klapow said. "For some, being in a relationship may be the first time they have not been able to 'have it all' the way they want it all the time."
Attempting to find a way into the conversation can sometimes help. If you interject with your own experiences and opinions, your date might just realize that, oh yeah, there are two people at the table, so perhaps both should have a chance to speak. And if that doesn't work, you might want to signal your growing disinterest. You can do this without being totally rude, and rather than encouraging their behavior, you can subtly suggest that they're losing their audience. As relationship coach Chris Armstrong previously told Elite Daily, "Sometimes people need to see what it means to lose the effort of their partner in order to understand how it feels."
Ultimately, it's your date's responsibility to figure out their conversational shortcomings, not yours. "If this is their default personality style, then it is their job to work against that in order to be a better partner," Dr. Klapow explained. And if they don't pick up on your exasperation, it's probably time to move along. Taylor Swift may not have been able to stop Kanye West from taking over her speech at the 2009 VMAs, but you can do your best to avoid getting Kanye'd on a date ever again.
Chris Armstrong, relationship coach
Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist