Sometimes, we don't realize the consequences of our actions until it's too late. This is often the case when it comes to partners that we really clicked with, but didn't end up with. Life is full of surprises, but it's also full of obstacles that can really get in the way of some relationships working out. The hardest part about dealing with these situations can be finding out what happened to “the one that got away."
Maybe you wanted a life of adventure and they wanted to settle down, or maybe you couldn't give them as much of yourself as you wanted and they met someone else. Maybe they're happily married with kids and living a seemingly idyllic life, or maybe they moved half-way across the world to work a dream job. Either way, knowing that you were with an amazing person who has since moved on can be a regretful burden.
But, I'm the type of person who likes to believe that things happen for a reason, and that there isn't just one single person waiting out there for you, but rather, plenty of compatible matches floating around. Some we meet and let go, and some we never even end up meeting. But nonetheless, in hindsight, it can still feel awful to think that a soulmate walked out of our lives. Here are eight reddit stories of lost love, so grab a box of tissues.
1. These Folks Got To Stay Friends.
I met a woman about nine years ago in a class that I was taking just to finish off my associates degree before transferring to art school. Everything about her looks went against my usual type, but I knew she was special and I had to talk to her. We ended up having a decent enough relationship for a few years, but I was not as attentive or affectionate as I should have been and we split up. To this day, we are still great friends but I know if we had stayed a couple I would be so much happier.
Had a girlfriend for almost two years while I was going to community college in my home town. We went through a lot together and I’ve never felt closer to any other person. In September, we both went off to separate colleges in different countries with a 8 hour time difference. Less than a month in she decided it wasn’t working being a long distance couple. I get it, but I honestly thought we were going to make it. It all happened very fast. She (and her whole family) was like family to me and I still consider her a friend, whether she thinks so or not.
2. Sometimes They Choose A Different Life.
We were friends, and then friends with benefits off and on throughout college. He was a good guy, but a little too scared of what might happen if he were to disappoint his small town, extremely conservative religious parents, so it never progressed to a relationship, even though we both wanted it. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that was close to him that knew he’s bi. I’m also pretty sure we would have been good together, even if it didn’t last forever.
He’s married now, to a woman his parents approve of (religious, conservative) because he knocked her up. They’ve got kids. He doesn’t seem happy. He’s still in the closet. I’m sad for him, because his life didn’t have to be that way. I haven’t talked to him in years, since his then-girlfriend threw tantrums about us keeping in touch and kept sneaking on his phone and social media and blocking me. I hear every now and then about him through mutual friends, but he doesn’t keep in touch with them, either, really. It’s been a couple years since I’ve heard anything. I miss him, and I wish I could talk to him.
3. It's Hard To Not Think Of What Could Have Been.
Her name is Ashley.
She was beautiful and wonderful. We dated but some issues arrived. The first issue is that I'm a horn dog, I didn't cheat on her but I broke up with her several times and jumped to dating someone else. I know it's my fault.
To this day I still dream about her.
4. This Person Learned Their Lesson The Hard Way.
My girlfriend who I had been with for 2 years and I were having a small argument and I decided that we should go on a "break," which in my mind meant, "HEY! YOU BETTER REALIZE HOW STUPID YOU'RE BEING!" Yet, as most people who think this usually are, I was the one being stupid. A couple days later, some guy asked her out, I was jealous and wanted her back, but being a prideful guy at that point in my life, I suggested she go. Well, he was a better guy than me apparently who wouldn't argue about dumb things. They're now married with two kids and I have never again treated a girl with that kind of pompousness and irrationality. Obviously things weren't the greatest, but her getting away helped me realize how immature I was and I've grown from that.
5. This Is Just Sad.
He chose drugs and alcohol. I held on and tried to be there for him for as long as I could, but it got to the point where I had to let him go because it was starting to destroy me too. In the end, the person he is now is not "the one that got away" and I actually dodged a bullet; but the person he was before his addiction took over was the real one that got away.
6. But Sometimes, It Works Out!
We had a really solid relationship, but we were still in high school. (2005/2006) He graduated and moved out of town and I still had a year of school left, so we broke up. We were right for each other, but the timing was just off. We kept some contact on Myspace/Facebook and eventually started dating different people. He moved back to the area in 2008 with his girlfriend and we started to hang out and eventually became best friends. After awhile his girlfriend cheated on him and they broke up, then we started a FWB relationship, then began dating again once his ex moved out. We just got married last June.
7. Ugh, My Heart.
Dated for 8 months, we were extremely happy, but I was in weird place and needed to find myself for my sanity. So, I moved to China for 9 months. We tried to make it work but LDRs (in my experience) have never worked out. So we went our separate ways. I'm back home now but he's with someone else. I tried dating another guy for about a month and realized that he wasn't what I wanted. I don't regret going abroad but I do regret not taking him with me. I haven't seen him since.
As you've probably realized by now, letting go of lost love certainly is not easy. But if you're having regrets about a past relationship with someone you think "got away" — why not reach out to them? If they have happily moved on, then rest assured there are plenty of awesome people out there that won't slip away now that you're older and wiser. When something is meant to be, it will be. Trust.
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