Being in a relationship doesn't have a one-dimensional definition. Two people who are meant to be together might not always have an automatic connection, or experience love at first sight. Relationships are complicated, and no two couples are exactly alike. So, if you've never been in what's been commonly categorized as a "fireworks" relationship, then you might be wondering what good chemistry feels like. Honestly, good chemistry can mean different things for different people. Chemistry is so incredibly special, because it's unique to each couple.
I believe my fiancé and I have great chemistry, but our chemistry differs vastly than that of my friend and her partner. For me, good chemistry usually means that when my fiancé is working as a firefighter, I'll get goosebumps thinking about what we'll do when he gets home. It's the little butterflies I still get when he looks me in the eye and puts his hands around my waist.
That being said, every couple and relationship is completely subject to their own standards of chemistry. There's no reason to compare your relationship to anyone else's. However, if you're wondering what good chemistry can look and feel like, then search no further.
Below, see what nine real women on Reddit who are lucky enough to have experienced good chemistry with their partners have to say.
1. Sounds pretty nice, huh?
It's like you're human magnets all of a sudden and your brain goes out the window. Mine ended better and it's something I look back on with fondness. It was a fun whirlwind and I wish him all the best.
2. This is so true.
Physical attraction fades, Chemistry with another human being does not. You don't notice there presence, but you do notice there absence.
3. It's basically magical.
Its like both of you just kicked up the charisma a couple hundred notches and all the hits are landing. Like low key mind reading and just being so in tune with each other.
4. But it can be dangerous, too.
It’s different than just being attracted. It can be very good or very bad! I was in a relationship with a guy a lot longer than I should’ve been because of the chemical connection between us. Like a huge spark. And then I would get completely stupid around him. I couldn’t make logical decisions. Like a drug. Everything was perfect when we got along, had sex, etc. but then he’d open his mouth and say a bunch of hurtful, rude shit. He wasn’t happy with himself and eventually I had to leave the relationship, but damn it was hard. And damn he still looks and smells good. If I were just attracted to him I would’ve left much much sooner!
5. It's not all about looks.
Feeling chemistry in my experience means that there is little-to-no 'awkward stage' when first meeting a person. There is one guy in particular that I've been hanging with that I immediately felt comfortable around, but he is very unconventionally attractive and 100% not my physical type.
But I've been turning down dates with guys who are my type because our conversations are so forced and uncomfortable. And these are some fine-*ss men. but if the chemistry isn't there, we both lose interest quickly.
So I've been enjoying myself dating the first guy much more than the guys I would typically be attracted to because we just have a great time together. Also chemistry makes anyone attractive, no matter what they physically look like.
6. You just click, ya know?
7. There can be a definite spark, too.
I've had varying levels of chemistry with people of both genders over the years, but I feel like calling it electrical isn't very far off the mark at all. The last guy I really clicked with made me feel like I'd been struck by lightning just by catching his eyes. And when we would inadvertently brush fingertips or arms, I'd feel a zap like a short circuit. It got to be almost painful after a certain amount of time.
8. It's mutual, and it's palpable.
Good chemistry can happen between a romantic partner and someone you just really click with.
When it's a romantic partner, it's sexual. It feels magnetic, likes there's static or sparks in the air. You get goosebumps or a tingly warm feeling. You feel happier. Lighter. You want to hold hands with them. Kiss them. Touch them. It's good chemistry, when all those feelings are mutual. It's hard to describe in a way that doesn't sound cheesy or made up. It may start off as purely physical attraction, but good chemistry also happens when you talk to them.
The conversation flows, it's mutual, you're both getting pleasure learning about (and from) one another. You're both in the moment, enjoying it, having fun. You want to keep talking. You want to know more about them. You want to hear their thoughts, opinions, ideas. You're both in sync in terms of humor and opinions. This part, without the physical attraction, makes good friendship energy — someone you just really click with.
Sometimes I can tell who I'd really click with just by looking at them. There is a "physical" aspect to it, and I haven't been wrong so far. Sometimes I'll see a woman at a party and just know I need to get to know her. The physical aspect isn't sexual necessarily, but more of enjoying their sense of style, the way they carry themselves, good eye contact or smiling - it opens them and invites them to become someone you can click with.
9. You can almost read each others' minds.
I consider good chemistry to be when the relationship feels "effortless". Effortless is a word my boyfriend and I have described my current relationship many times. Not to say there is no work and we can just be lazy or taken for granted, it's just that the work we do put into the relationship is productive and invigorating, it doesn't take anything out of us emotionally. We rarely fight yet we are two very passionate people with strong opinions, I think because we communicate so well. On the rare occasion we do fight, its a very productive discussion, and we both come away from it learning something more about ourselves or each other. The good communication and feeling of support affect other areas of the relationship as well, like sex, for example. I feel like there is no way for the sex to be bad, we are just in tune with each other and when we aren't, we are very communicative to get our needs met.
Remember that if you haven't experienced "fireworks" chemistry in a relationship, that doesn't mean you never will. Every relationship is different, and chemistry is completely subjective. Know that love is fluid and knows no bounds — and you deserve to be loved wholly, and to love in return.