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Here’s What Emotional Compatibility Feels Like, Because You Can’t Miss It

by Korey Lane

Being in a healthy, happy relationship can feel like the greatest thing on earth. Having a partner who you love deeply, and who you know feels the same way about you is so special. But it's one thing to be in love with someone, and another to be emotionally compatible. According to relationship experts, you'll recognize emotional compatibility if you and your partner have it. But what does emotional compatibility feel like? The experts say it's hard to miss.

"Do you ever notice how some couples just seem to 'glow' with happiness? These are the couples who laugh at the same time, finish or contribute to each other's stories, and just seem to be made and meant for each other. What you are probably observing is emotional compatibility," Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, nationally recognized clinical psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author of the new book Training Your Love Intuition, tells Elite Daily. "There is no definitive definition for that quality, but you know you have it when you feel happy, comfortable, accepted, understood and aligned with your partner regarding qualities such as shared values, respect for each other, and joy and a sense of ease of being together."


Additionally, emotional compatibility usually means that you feel good being 100% yourself around them. "When you have emotional compatibility with someone, all of the superficial things, such as where you go on a date, and comparing yourself to others doesn't matter," Julie Spira, online dating expert and founder at Cyber-Dating Expert, tells Elite Daily. "What matters when it comes to being emotionally compatible is you'll know without a doubt, that you can talk to your partner about anything, and they'll calm you down when you're upset, and vice versa. On the flip side, you can easily share your joy."

Life coach Nina Rubin tells Elite Daily that emotional compatibility is a super important part of any relationship. "[It's an] awesome feeling, and you just work well together," says Rubin. "You can be yourself and express your emotional needs. You can express vulnerability and your partner welcomes you. You’re seen and meet your partner in the same way. In other words, it’s extraordinarily important."


If you're not recognizing any of these feelings in your own relationship right off the bat, don't fret. In fact, "it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed," dating and relationships expert Anita A. Chlipala tells Elite Daily. "We work with many couples who have differences around emotional expression and comfort. These differences can stem from your family of origin. Couples can have conversations around how emotions and conflict were handled when they were growing up. If there’s a mismatch, couples need to discuss what they can accept about each other and where they can compromise. It’s important to not try to change the other."

Emotional compatibility is basically that "when you know, you know," feeling of being safe and at home with your partner. However, if you don't have it right away, that doesn't mean that you never will. As with most relationship things, compromise and total comfort can take time and effort. What matters is that you're both willing to put in the work it takes to meet in the middle.