When I think of things college boys do, many things come to mind. College boys shot gun beers. College boys avoid relationships like the black plague. College boys watch porn on loud in the library because they're pledging a fraternity. College boys have burping contests. College boys text you, "Hey, whats up?" at 2 a.m. in an attempt to hookup. College boys will make out with you fully-clothed for four hours then tell all their friends you boned. Oh, and according to 19-year-old Tatianna Saunder, "college boys ask you on real dates."
Wait... what? Yeah, it seems Tatianna, a student at Western State Colorado University, has been hanging out with a different breed of college boy than I was blessed to be around. In a tweet earlier this year, she claimed, "College boys ask you on real dates. High school boys didn't prep me for that." Interesting. Very interesting. Is she possibly mistaking that late-night text from a dude asking her to come over to Netflix and chill for an actual date invite?! I mean, maybe she really is getting asked on real dates in college, but I need concrete answers! WTF is going on, and why wasn't my own college experience like that?
Regarding the tweet, she explained to BuzzFeed News, "I had been asked on dates in college, like actual, real dates to dinner, and coffee, and outdoors dates, and I did not at all have that same experience in high school." OK, so I guess the reasoning behind the tweet makes sense given the background... but I'm still confused. Who are these magical boys asking her out to dinner, coffee, AND outdoor dates?! How do they exist?
Well, it seems I wasn't the only one who had doubts, either. People all over Twitter have been responding sporadically to her tweet over time, totally confused by her claim. "Every few months or so people will respond to it and it will be series of responses," she told BuzzFeed News.
And what were people responding to the tweet with? Oh, you know, just their idea of more realistic things college boys do.
Here are some great examples of what "college boys" do to other people.
Well, regardless of everyone's many doubts about the situation, Tatianna decided to treat us all to some of her cold, hard proof that these nice guys really do exist, at least where she goes to school. She tweeted some screenshots of guys asking her out on real dates with the caption, "not all guys r trash."
After this tweet, people moved on from being skeptical to being shocked and confused, comparing their own texts from college boys to Tatianna's.
There's this person who's periodically asked if she wants to f*ck by this guy.
And there's this girl's text from a guy who isn't down to date girls with "no sex" requirements.
There's this girl's text from a guy who's pissed she won't put out.
And there's this text from a guy who can't even craft an insult with correct spelling.
Can't forget about the texts from this guy, whose persistence veers on the side of stalker-ish.
And my personal favorite: There's this girl's text from a guy who never seizes an opportunity to ask for a threesome.
In response to seeing these tweets, Tatianna (who's now a sophomore) told BuzzFeed News, "There’s a lot of screenshots of guys just being gross to girls so I did find those entertaining, I suppose, but also pathetic." She also would like to apologize for the behavior of these annoying dudes: "I’m really sorry guys are being so horrible across the US."
Here's to hoping we all start attracting the same types of people Tatianna's attracting... or maybe that we all can go back in time and transfer to Western State Colorado University, where the breed of men there is apparently much more respectable.
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