I'm what people would call a "bad texter."
Of course I read my friends and family's messages, and of course I care about what they have to say... of course.
But when communicating with someone I have a ~crush~ on, I suddenly become the BEST texter — eagerly reading and responding to every message. But in some ways, I guess I also become the worst because I overthink every response to the point that it's actually weird and I'm typing and deleting like a socially inept freak.
My girl friends agree: Texting someone you're into is a whole different ball game than texting anyone else. Suddenly, every word carries a million times more weight.
You want to be available, but not desperate. Flirty, but not slutty. Funny, but not trying too hard. Forward, but not obnoxious. Somehow, you have to convey all of this in one short message (that's not too short because you don't want to seem uninterested, but not too long because you don't want to come off as complicated).
UGH, SO STRESSFUL!
You want to be available, but not desperate. Flirty, but not slutty. Funny, but not trying too hard.
And don't even get me started on the painful, anxiety-inducing time spent in pure agony waiting for a response. When it finally comes in, you feel absurd that a "hahaha ya i totally agree" has literally catapulted your heart into cartwheels and left you smiling like an idiot at your phone. Then, there's the whole process of trying to craft yet another perfect message...
Or, do you not respond?! Was that, like, a text you weren't supposed to respond to? Time to screenshot to a million friends to figure it out.
So, yeah. As you can tell, I'm familiar with this stress as a woman. But I wasn't sure if it was something guys go through, too. That is, until I read this thread on Reddit and found that GUYS ARE JUST LIKE US.
Guys confessed that their texting habits TOTALLY change when they're talking to a girl they actually like. Here are the clues you can look out for (which sound an awful lot like what we do, too):
He loves the constant communication.
He's more attentive.
He drops hints.
He spends over 10 minutes crafting a flirty text.
He asks a lot of questions.
He pays attention to who sent the last text.
He purposely holds off on answering.
He starts to overthink things.
He uses more of a filter.
He keeps the conversation going.
He gets nervous to read your response.
There you have it, ladies: Guys are just as freaked out about texting the person they like as we are. Phew.