Full disclosure: I’ve been around the block a few times in college. I came into freshman year with a boyfriend who set up my whole dorm room for me. Later that night we went to a party together, and, well, let’s just say I did not wake up in his arms.
I am an opportunist. I love creating a new persona for each new conquest I have; sometimes I’ll be the girl next door and other times I might be the girl on HBO.
Of course, this only works for guys with whom I immediately know there is no future. If I am genuinely interested in someone, then the games stop and I become similar to every other girl with a crush: extremely possessive and clingy. I haven’t yet met the right guy for me, and the more I experience, the less likely it seems that he actually exists. However, it has been fun to analyze each of my flings.
1) The Creep
This is most likely the first guy you’ll meet. He will seem so charming and tell you how beautiful you are. He’ll shower you with texts about the coolest parties you’ll ever attend. The rush of being in a new environment and feeling as though someone on campus wants to be your friend will override the ridiculous behavior of this guy. Eventually, as you meet more people, his frequent texts will become a great conversation starter with all the other girls with whom he has also been communicating.
Many guys still haven’t learned that girls talk amongst themselves. It is like an unspoken rule of the universe that if you creep on multiple girls at the same time, those girls will unknowingly gravitate toward one another and find out. But, given that this guy is a creep, most girls will just use the story as fodder for laughter to bond with one another and to create friendships.
2) The Frat Boy
I am friends with a lot of frat boys, and I must admit that not all of them are awful douchebags — but, plenty of them are. The douchiness really comes out when he takes you to date parties, especially if it’s a set-up and you haven’t met him before. At first, he will act like a gentleman. He’ll figure out all the plans for you guys, and maybe he will also pay for dinner (which will include drinks, as he’s definitely trying to get you nice and belligerent).
So, you are having a great time, then, BAM, all of a sudden he’s pissed because you haven’t hooked up with him. Did he really expect you to act completely coupled up? Obviously, it’s courteous for a girl to be a good date, to be respectful and grateful that he chose to bring you to the event. However, this does not mean she should be expected to jump into his bed right afterward.
The douchey frat boy expects to get laid at all times. Tread lightly if you think you may have a crush on this guy; you will likely not be the one he takes to his to date parties, you will be the one he hits up after his date refuses to sleep with him. He will never admit that he likes you, however at the end of the party, he will always find a way to you. He is great when life feels dull — the uncensored drama and average sex will last a few months, but it will not manifest into a great, serious relationship.
3) The Comfort Zone Guy
He seems like a good idea at the time; your grades will increase and your alcohol intake will decrease while you’re with him. You hang out with him when no one else is doing anything, making your relationship, more than anything, an escape from reality. Most likely, your nights will consist of movies and make outs. Maybe there will be a few dates, but you’ll never go to big parties together — plus, there’s just no spark.
You rarely talk about this guy with your friends and you barely think about him until he texts you first, reminding you he exists. When you are actually together, you get along like best friends. College is a busy time — if your friendships and schedules just do not match up, the relationship is likely to end, and quickly.
4) The Serious One
He is definitely a great change in pace from the regular guys you met at parties. He is looking for a relationship and does not like random hookups, much less girls who hook up with random guys. He is respectful and everything for which you are looking. You're the problem. When a guy comes off strong in the beginning, it partially takes the fun out of the chase. Whether we can admit it or not, people like some version of the chase.
5) The Classic Rebound
This happens when your fairytale relationship comes to a screeching halt. Your serious relationship ended badly. No one intentionally looks for a rebound, but they always happen. He is not really your type, but can hold a conversation that lasts longer than discussing your favorite alcoholic drinks. The rebound is always a mistake, as you will eventually realize, no guy can fix your broken heart.
You start losing contact with him when you start to find things that truly make you happy all on your own. He is an essential part of the healing process, because he makes you remember that you’re great and attractive and that you ex is truly at a loss.
Of course, there are many others kinds of guys with whom you may cross paths in college. Each holds the power to reveal something new to you about yourself. While, boys are fun and can enhance your happiness, it is important to remember to put your own interests first always. Ultimately, this is your time to be selfish. Date more than one person, go for someone who isn’t your type and try new things.
Photo credit: Neighbors