When Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's engagement was announced, I thought to myself, "Americans can get it!" Then I thought, "Why didn't I try harder to get wifed up by a royal?" And I eventually stooped so low as to think, "When Prince George is 25, how old will I be?" (Oops! That's a 25-year age difference! Goodbye, royal dreams!) Plus, I don't exactly see the name "Kimmy" being deemed appropriate by Queen E as a royal name.
What's in a royal name, you ask? The first ingredient is a super fly prefix or royal title. I'd want to be a "Viscountess." (I have no idea where that falls in the hierarchy of Bristish nobility, but it sounds quite badass.) Then, you add one part solid, British first name that could have trended in both 1667 and in 2018 — think Victoria. Next, a redundant first middle name — the Beatrice to your Victoria. Followed that up with a second, more outlandish middle name — hello, Rosamund! Eventually rounding the name out with a last name that is either hyphenated or overtly British — is there a Kensingfordshire family?
Since none of us will be marrying into the royal family in the near future (aside from some toddler who cannot read yet and probably lives in Britain), why not use Elite Daily's convenient little generator to find out your royal name? Pretending is fun.
For your royal tile: what is your favorite breakfast food?
- Poached Eggs — Princess
- Fried Eggs — Duchess
- Bacon — Her Royal Highness
- Pancakes — Countess
- Waffles — Queen
- Cereal – Baroness
- Granola — Earl
- Fruit — Lady
- Bagel and Cream Cheese — Mistress
- Bagel with Lox – The Right And Honourable
- Breakfast Taco — Marchioness
- "I don't eat breakfast." — Viscountess
For your first name: what's your sign?
- Aries — Elizabeth
- Taurus — Victoria
- Gemini — Anne
- Cancer — Caroline
- Leo — Charlotte
- Virgo — Margaret
- Libra — Eleanor
- Scorpio — Camilla
- Sagittarius — Mary
- Capricorn — Catherine
- Aquarius — Meghan
- Pisces — Diana
First Middle Name
For your first middle name: what's your favorite hot beverage?
- Earl Grey Tea — Beatrice
- English Breakfast Tea — Eugenie
- Black Coffee — Sophie
- Matcha — Georgia
- Hot Water with Lemon — Sarah
- Instant Ramen — Zara
- Hot Toddy — Autumn
- Mulled Wine — Louise
- Skinny Latte — Grace
- Herbal Tea — Alexandra
Second Middle Name
Your second middle name: what's your favorite form of water? (Think outside the box.)
- Ocean — Henrietta
- Pool — Imogen
- Lake — Nimmy
- A Glass Of Water — Octavia
- A Bath — Cordelia
- A Shower — Rosamund
- Rain — Prunella
- LaCroix — Felicity
- Tears – Portia
Your last name: who is your favorite character from Downton Abbey?
- Violet Crawley — Crawley
- Isobel Crawley — Crawley (Duh.)
- Lady Mary — Crawley-Talbot (See what I did there?)
- Robert Crawley — Grantham (Got you! he's the Earl of Grantham.)
- Charles (Charlie) Carson — Carsonham (Had to beef it up.)
- John Bates — Bates-Windsorside (Because why not?)
- Thomas Barrow — Barrow-Ness (Yes, I think I'm funny.)
- Mrs. Patmore — Patmore-Buttsington (Not punny? @ me.)
- Lady Rose MacClare — MacClare (Back to basics.)
As it turns out, I would be "Marchioness Camilla Mary Henrietta Patmore-Buttsington," so alas, the joke is on me. Now that I've gifted you with your royal new Instagram handle, I hope you'll throw a party for the royal wedding and force all of your friends to wear name tags with their royal names on them too. Enjoy, Lady Elizabeth Eugenie Nimmy Grantham, and cheers to an American addition to the royal family!