A lot of work goes into creating the perfect Tinder profile: choosing the right first photo, choosing the other photos (because one photo means you’re either a bot or a serial killer, no middle ground), writing a clever bio and, if you’re feeling adventurous, displaying the perfect song as your anthem. If you're not currently competing for "Best Tinder Profile of All Time," what are you even doing?
Don’t think you can just waltz in here with some sloppy group shot that you took at a bar three years ago, tack on a lazy “new to this Tinder thing,” and hope to get laid before week’s end. That’s not how this works. Anyone worthy of a right swipe on Tinder knows that if online dating is a game, Tinder is basically American Ninja Warrior. What’s the goal, you ask? Simple. A very public and often embarrassing battle to the death or, you know, to the first lackluster, "Hey."
There is no limit to the ways in which you can damn yourself to the hell fires of a matchless Tinder experience. Oh, what’s that, a dead animal in your profile photo? Next. You’d like to only speak in Seinfeld quotes for the rest of your life? Hard pass. You don’t have basic Photoshop skills and, for this reason and this reason only, have neglected to crop your ex out of your photos? Delete your account.
But for every Tinder fail, there’s someone out there who’s been paying attention. Someone who knows how to choose a profile photo, someone who’s here to win your heart, someone who just wants you to know that James Blunt was right, you are beautiful. Look no further, because here they are.
These are the best Tinder profiles I’ve ever seen — if only they lived in my area.
This PowerPoint presentation is better than anything I sat through in college.
I especially appreciate the dynamic layout and consistent color scheme.
Did this man just rickroll his way into my heart?
Although I’m a little concerned about his profession — what exactly does a wingman at Hallmark do? — I’m impressed by the time and effort he’s dedicated to each aspect of his Tinder profile. I mean, did you see that detailed pro/con list?
I strive to be as true to myself as Necie is.
Good at beer pong, loves McDonald’s… what more could you possibly want?
This woman calculated her attractiveness projections, three years into the future.
Gorgeous and smart.
This man’s not too sure about his skills in bed, but he does have "decent taste in Netflix."
Obviously, the key to owning Tinder is list-making and reaffirming testimonials.
This woman is a national hero.
Well, that's one way to make sure you and your Tinder matches are politically compatible. Honestly, I have never loved someone more.
I haven’t seen this one but I think it’s gonna be the one that saves me.
I love a good story in someone's Tinder profile. It doesn't hurt to know that this guy is not only funny, but also a fan of the '90s.
And the award for best animated picture... I mean, best Tinder profile goes to…
No but, seriously, have you seen his son?
When it comes to Tinder, a sense of humor goes a long way in your conversations and in your profile. You shouldn’t have to spend hours editing it. The presentation-style profile works because it’s honest, funny and light-hearted — not because anyone cares about your mediocre Microsoft Office skills. If you’re looking to improve your Tinder game (who isn’t?), start with a good profile photo (no significant others, no Snapchat filters), a descriptive bio and a well-placed joke.
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