James Blunt's Tinder Profile Tips Will Totally Get You More Matches
I have been out of the online dating game for a while, so building a solid Tinder profile is definitely not my strong suit. Do you only put up hot solo shots and risk people thinking you have no friends? Do you go with all group pics and risk people never knowing which one you are in the pic? Do you go with a funny caption and risk people thinking you don't have a ~sensitive~ side? AH, SO MANY OPTIONS. But stress no more, friends! James Blunt's Tinder profile tips are a total game changer.
I know what you're thinking here: James Blunt? The guy who sang "You're Beautiful"? What is he gonna have to say about my dating profile? Also, WTF does he have to do with Tinder? Well, allow me to explain here. Our boy Blunt went to the Tinder headquarters for a day to act as their Chief Blunt Officer (CBO). As their acting in-house CBO, Blunt scrolled through people's Tinder profiles and — you guessed it — gave his blunt opinion about them. The best part? The whole thing was captured on video, so now, you can reap his words of wisdom whenever you so please.
CHECK IT OUT.
Let me give you some highlights of Blunt's sage words of wisdom.
Ditch The Group Shots.
After coming across 24-year-old Kat's profile, which was absolutely filled with group photos, James lamented, "For crying out loud, are all your photos group shots? It's Tinder, Kat, not Guess F*cking Who!"
Stop With The "Clever" Bios.
An 18-year-old named Kara's bio read that she is "allergic to gluten and bullsh*t," to which Blunt retorts, "You've eaten bullsh*t, Kara?" Yeah, I can't say I've ever eaten bullsh*t. But who knows? Maybe Kara has. I don't know her life.
Posing With Dead Animals Is A Sure Win, Apparently.
A 31-year-old named Alex posted a picture of himself smiling ear-to-ear while he held a dead fish in his bare hands. Blunt replied, "Alex, posing with dead animals? Always works."
You know, I really want to say I'm confident he was being sarcastic, but I can't be too sure. Perhaps James Blunt is truly here for the dead fish pics? Regardless, maybe just avoid the dead fish pics anyway. Sorry.
Quoting A James Blunt Song? DEFINITE YES. (Obviously.)
Greg, a 37-year-old dude with a profile pic that just seems to feature him emerging from a bed of shrubs, mastered the Tinder game as far as Blunt's concerned, by putting the words to Blunt's own song "You're Beautiful" his bio:
Blunt gave his most positive reaction yet: "That's beautiful, Greg. No criticisms here."
Shirtless Bathroom Selfies Are OK, Depending On Your Target Demographic.
If self-respect is something you look for in a match, Blunt says to maybe bypass the shirtless bathroom selfies. If not, though, then go for it!
"You know, not everyone supports the shirtless bathroom selfie, Joshua," he said. "I think it's a great strategy for just weeding out anyone with an ounce of self-respect. Fair play."
Any Dude "Not Looking To Hook Up" Is A Joke.
In fact, when Blunt came across 31-year-old Liam's bio that read, "Not here to hook up," all he could do was burst out in a big LOL in reaction.
GTFO With Your Height Requirements.
"You're looking for someone a foot taller than you," Blunt pointed out. "So you just officially ruled out Zac Efron, Ryan Reynolds, Channing Tatum, Drake, Andrew Garfield, Kit Harrington. You're telling me you'd turn down the King of the North?" Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and guess Susan would make an exception for the King of the North... and maybe for those other guys, too.
Is James Blunt still helping run things over at Tinder HQ? Eh, not really. His stint as CBO only lasted about 24 hours. But that doesn't mean you can't take these Tinder tips and run with them. So, go and print these words of wisdom and hang them on your wall or something.
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