Strategies For Solving Disagreements With Your Partner, According To 5 Women
Fighting sucks. There's no way to sugarcoat it. Life is stressful, and there are millions of reasons why couples fight. But for every fight to be had, there are plenty of strategies for solving disagreements with your partner. In the beginning of a relationship, you are your boo are still figuring out each others' quirks. You may not know being late is bae's biggest pet peeve, or that they will lose it if you don't offer to pay for the Uber. As your relationship grows, your communication does too, and you'll start to know what (and what not) to say.
Of course, long-term couples fight too. In a recent study by The Guardian, almost 1,000 adults attested that couples that have an open dialogue about disagreements are 10 times more likely to have longer term happiness in their partnerships than couples who don't have it out.
It's important to have hard talks, especially when you and your boo can't seem to see eye to eye. Despite what movies or TV try to tell us, dating doesn't mean constant agreement and skipping into the sunset. Money, family, exes, work, school, and drama don't rest just because we're now a party of two. Having a partner means caring for someone else, and understanding their needs.
When the conversation starts to drift from Where should we go to eat? to I actually can't afford to go out every night and you're making me feel bad about it, it can be healthy for you and your boo to say what you're feeling. I spoke with five women about ways to solve a disagreement with boo.
Listen and value what they have to say instead of just pausing your own talking.
— Mary, 24
2. Think Good Thoughts
Assume good intentions with them, assume they didn't mean to hurt you and weren't trying to be rude. They're your partner and they love you, and if there's a disagreement, it's probably coming from a good place and a place of wanting to make the relationship work.
— Shai, 25
3. Give Space
Give a little time, give space, leave the situation, think and come back with a fresh mind and fresh view. You don't need to solve it in one night.
4. Let Them Win
Let them win, if it means a lot to them, and it doesn't matter that much to you. You don't always have to be right, or have to have the last word. Sometimes it's okay to say, you take this one.
— Bee, 21
5. Collect Your Own Thoughts
If you're peak emotions, feeling feelings, it can be hard to articulate what you want to be saying. In taking a second to collect your thoughts and be clear with yourself on your own feelings, it can help get your point across.
— Jess, 21
If you and your boo can't seem to agree, consider trying some of these tactics. Assume that they don't mean to hurt you, listen to what they are saying, and be clear with where you stand. Relationships take work, and having the hard conversations that can sometimes cause friction, can make all the difference in the long run.